7 (YAOI BOYLOVE) Sasuke X Saizo: Lovesick
by Akasha1908
Summary: This is a boy x boy story that pairs Sasuke (Divina) and Saizo (Divina) from the fantasy card game, Ayakashi Ghost Guild. DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters! NOTE: Graphic content, please be advised
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

"I love you." Saizo whispered, his face just inches from Sasuke's.

Sasuke trembled with a mixture of pure joy and utter terror as he lay trapped beneath Saizo's heavy body. They'd been sparring only moments ago and had ended up tumbling down a small grassy hill towards the secluded tree line. Today had been a particularly intense session between the two Divina. They'd had an argument during breakfast, and all their pent up aggression had carried over into their physical battle. As usual Saizo was winning, but then Sasuke rammed the Divina so hard, it sent them both crashing to the ground and rolling down the low slope of the hill.

Landing in heap of arms and legs, the atmosphere of rage and brutality instantly turned into… something else. Laying there now, Sasuke still couldn't understand how things had turned out this way, but staring up into Saizo's handsome face, he realized he didn't care.

"W-why didn't you say something sooner?" Sasuke asked, his voice suddenly timid.

"I was afraid I'd lose you." Saizo whispered, his nervous gaze studying Sasuke intently. "If you rejected me, I… I don't think I could've lived."

"I would never reject you!" Sasuke exclaimed. "I-I love you, too."

The corners of Saizo's mouth turned up, his expression changing from anxious to relieved. Sasuke's heart skipped several beats; the smile instantly unleashing a flurry of butterflies in the depths of his belly. He loved Saizo's smiled. Loved the way it warmed every part of him right down the tips of his fingers and toes. Sasuke had seen that smile take the panties off more humans and daemons than he could count, but finally, after years of silent adoration, that smile was directed at him.

"Really?" Saizo asked, his eyes alight with joy.

"Yes!" Sasuke insisted. "I've loved you for so long it feels like an eternity. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid, too."

Saizo pressed their lips together; the kiss so painfully gentle it made Sasuke's entire body ache with need. It was his first, and he was so glad he'd waited to share it with Saizo.

Saizo broke the kiss, pressing his forehead to Sasuke's. "I want you so badly." He whispered; his voice pained. "But I don't want to push you. We should stop now before… before I _can't_ stop."

Sasuke was practically panting; each breath fleeing before he had the chance to catch it. He shook his head, wrapping his arms around Saizo's neck and pulling him down.

"N-no!" He managed to get out. "I-I want this. Don't stop!"

"But it's our first time. _Your_ first time. I want it to be special."

He could tell Saizo meant what he said, and perhaps the Divina was right, but Sasuke couldn't think of a better time or place to consummate their love than right then and there. Laying atop the soft grass, underneath the warmth of the morning sun… It was all so perfect.

"This is special." Sasuke replied, cupping Saizo's cheek lovingly. "The fact that you're here now. With me. This is the happiest moment of my life."

"Are you sure?" Saizo asked, gently brushing his thumb across Sasuke's bottom lip.

Sasuke could only nod, his body shaking with anticipation as Saizo leaned in once more to kiss him. The kiss was deliciously distracting, and the wonder of it nearly swept Sasuke away. He sighed weakly, the taste of his lover's passion and desire threatening to consume him completely. Saizo deepened the kiss, his hands working skillfully to remove Sasuke's clothing. Not entirely, but just enough so that he had the access he needed.

"It will hurt at first." Saizo whispered, his hand sliding between Sasuke's legs and gently caressing the soft skin of his inner thigh. "But if you relax, the pain won't last long."

Sasuke nodded again, his eyes locked with Saizo's reassuring gaze.

"Bend your legs for me."

Sasuke did as he was told, bending his knees. His cheeks flooded with color as every inch of him was exposed to Saizo's heated gaze. The Divina licked his lips; his aqua green eyes blazing with lust. Sasuke shivered a moment, the intensity of Saizo's gaze causing a sliver of fear to blossom in his chest.

"Relax." Saizo murmured, placing a kiss on Sasuke's knee. "I won't do anything you don't want me to. And if you say stop, then I'll stop."

"O-okay." Sasuke trembled.

Saizo wet a single finger with his mouth, then eased it slowly into Sasuke's tight hole. It wasn't at all what Sasuke expected, and he immediately tensed against the pain.

"I-It hurts, Saizo!"

"Deep breaths." He soothed. "Relax your back, and let your legs fall open. Yes, just like that."

"Saizo…!"

Tears formed in the corners of Sasuke's eyes. All he could feel was the pain, and he fought to keep himself from crying out.

"I know." Saizo whispered, his other hand continuing to stroke Sasuke's thigh. "Just a little bit more."

Sasuke bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut. He was clutching the blades of grass so tightly, he was beginning to lose feeling in his fingers.

"I-I can't do this." Saizo said in a rush, gently pulling out his finger. "I'm only hurting you. We should wait until we're some place I can prepare you properly. This is your first time, and without some kind of lubricant, I'm only going to cause you pain."

"No!" Sasuke cried, grabbing Saizo's wrist. "I'm fine. Don't stop."

"Sasuke, even someone who is used to this would have a difficult time. Let's just wait. There's no need to rush."

"But I need to feel you now! Please, Saizo. I know you won't hurt me. I trust you."

It took a few moments, but Saizo finally capitulated.

"Alright," he sighed, pulling Sasuke's pants completely off. "But we're going to try this a different way."

Sasuke was not prepared for the 'different way' Saizo was currently using. If he was embarrassed before, he was completely mortified now. Saizo had one of Sasuke's legs over each shoulder, his head buried between his thighs. Sasuke tried to stop him, but the Divina refused to be swayed. Luckily, the wet heat of Saizo's mouth was making it impossible for Sasuke to focus on anything but his own pleasure.

"S-Saizo… I can't… I'm going to…!"

Sasuke expected Saizo to pull back when his orgasm finally came. Instead, the Divina kept his lips firmly around Sasuke's throbbing length; taking every bit of the hot seed into his mouth. It felt so good it hurt, and right at the moment Sasuke couldn't take anymore, a scream of pure ecstasy ripped from his throat. His vision blurred; the world suddenly spinning.

Saizo sat up, a triumphant smile on his face. Sasuke started to speak, but what Saizo did next took the words right out of his mouth. The Divina spit the semen into his hand, wiping his chin with the other.

"This will make things easier." He said, rubbing the cum onto Sasuke's tender hole. "It's not ideal, but it will certainly help."

_And so the preparation began again…. _

Saizo was right. It was still painful, but not as much as before. In fact, the deeper Saizo went, the more the pain started to fade into something else…

"How are you feeling?" Saizo asked worriedly.

"I-I don't know."

"Does it feel good?"

"M-maybe. I can't tell. It feels… numb."

Saizo licked his lips, the same lust-filled expression forming on his face as before. He was obviously trying to hold back, but Sasuke could see the sweat beading on his brow.

Saizo took a deep breath, his voice trembling with restraint. "I'm going to use another finger. Stretch you open a bit more."

When Sasuke was able to take two fingers without discomfort, Saizo slid in a third. Sasuke was definitely starting to feel something; especially when Saizo's fingers brushed a certain spot. He started to pant; his orgasm building once more.

Saizo smiled. "You like it here, don't you?"

Saizo's fingers touched the spot again; his intense gaze examining Sasuke's expression closely. Sasuke gasped. His back arching off the ground as the Divina's fingers massaged the mystery spot deep inside him. He was on the verge of climaxing again when Saizo slipped his fingers out.

"Why are you stopping?!" Sasuke cried.

"I have no intention of stopping." Saizo answered, pulling off his shirt and loosening the top of his pants. "But you're ready now, so it's my turn."

Saizo slid between his legs, positioning his hard cock at Sasuke's entrance. The anticipation was almost too much. They were finally going to become one, and Sasuke could hardly contain his joy. This was all he'd ever wanted. All he'd ever dreamed of!

"Sasuke, are you okay?" Saizo asked.

"Y-yes." He whispered back, the scene before him starting to ripple and fade.

"Then wake up!"

Shock and disappointment flooded Sasuke's system as the world around him faded to black and realization dawned. _He was dreaming…_ Sasuke's eyes flew open, and he found himself staring straight into a very familiar aqua green gaze.

"Jesus Christ, Saizo! What the hell?!" Sasuke bolted upright in the bed, pulling the sheets to his chin. "I thought I told you to knock before you come barging in!"

"I didn't barge in!" Saizo shot back. "And for the record, I did knock, but there was no answer. I got worried, so I came in."

"But the door was locked!"

"Please, like that was going to stop me." Saizo smirked. "What's up with you lately? I've never had to knock before. And since when did you start locking your door?"

Sasuke took a deep breath, trying to refocus his attention on anything but the painful erection throbbing between his legs. He was still rock hard, and Saizo's _actual_ presence in his room was only making things worse. He could smell the intoxicating scent of Saizo's after shave, and with his hair tousled oh so perfectly around his flawlessly chiseled face, Sasuke was on the verge of exploding. Literally!

"What do you want?" He bit out.

Saizo frowned. "I came by to see if you wanted to spar with me this morning."

"No." Sasuke answered bluntly, images of his dream flickering through his mind.

"That's it? No?"

"What do you want me to say?!"

"I don't know." Saizo said dryly. "But a reason why might be nice!"

"There is no reason. I just don't want to."

"You said the same thing yesterday." Saizo argued. "And the day before that! Are you mad at me or something?"

"I'm always mad at you." Sasuke muttered.

Saizo sucked his teeth in irritation. "I mean more so than usual. You'd tell me if I pissed you off for _real_, right?"

"Yes."

Saizo frowned again, staring at Sasuke expectantly.

"What?" Sasuke demanded.

"What do you mean _what?_ I'm waiting for you to tell me what I did. It has to be something since you obviously hate me."

"I don't hate you." Sasuke replied, his head starting to swim with Saizo's delicious scent. God help him, but he loved to see the Divina get all riled up. It just made him want the daemon even more.

"Then what's wrong?!" Saizo exclaimed.

"Nothing!"

"You're lying!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are! I know when you're lying, Sasuke, and you're doing it right now! You love morning spars! As a matter of fact, it's usually you coming to my room and waking me up!"

"Oh my God, will you just get out?!"

Saizo crossed his arms over his chest. "Nope. Not until you tell me what's going on."

"If I promise to spar with you, will you shut up about this and leave?"

Saizo narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, I'll leave, but this isn't over."

"Whatever! Just get out!"

Saizo clearly wanted to say more, but, thankfully, he left the room in silence. Sasuke fell back against the sheets in relief.

_No more BL manga before bed!_

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember where he and Saizo had left off in his dream. He could only remember bits and pieces, but he swore it was the best wet dream of his life! He could still feel the stickiness of his first ejaculation on his leg, but if he was ever going to get up and walk to the bathroom, he needed to rub this next one out.

Fortunately, those bits and pieces of memory were just enough to bring him to orgasm. He buried his face into his pillow, trying to muffle his cries of pleasure. When it was all over, his tears of shame and self-loathing had already dried on his cheeks.

He rolled out of bed, practically running to the shower. He was desperate to wash away the evidence of his betrayal. He'd made himself cum to imagines of his best friend! How was he supposed to go downstairs and face him after such a horrific act?! Up until now, he'd been able to control his desires, but recently, Sasuke could think of nothing but Saizo. His face, his smile, his body, his…

"Stop it!" He yelled, his voice echoing off of the pale blue tiles in bathroom.

He placed his hands on the shower wall, but even as he tried to calm his racing heart, it did nothing to stop the erection forming between his legs once more. Sasuke turned the shower to the coldest setting he could stand, hoping the ice cold droplets would cool his burning skin.

**CHAPTER 2**

Saizo closed the door behind him, immediately pressing his ear to the wood. Something was wrong with Sasuke and he was desperate to find out what it was.

Over the past 3 weeks, Saizo had noticed a change in Sasuke. He was becoming distant, shutting himself off from the world around him. It wasn't like the outgoing and boisterous Divina at all, and Saizo was beyond the point of worry.

Saizo and Sasuke weren't exactly friends in the conventional sense. In fact, if Saizo had to put a title on it, he would say they were friendly enemies; frenemies. But despite their precarious relationship, they were closer than those who'd been best friends their entire lives. No one in the world understood Sasuke better than Saizo, and vice versa.

For quite some time, there was no sound of movement on the other side of the door. There was a moment Saizo thought he heard Sasuke cry out, but he couldn't be sure. He considered going back in, but that would likely piss Sasuke off even more. He would just have to wait until Sasuke made his way downstairs for their sparing session.

Saizo made his way through the winding hall, jogging down the stairs. He headed towards the kitchen to mix a of couple protein shakes for him and Sasuke. They'd likely need the boost of energy after their morning workout. When he entered the kitchen, he found Moon Viewing Set sitting on the counter, chatting excitedly with Ohina as she brewed a pot of coffee.

"Good morning, ladies."

"Morning, Saizo!" Ohina replied happily. "How are you this morning?"

"Great now." He answered, staring straight at MVS.

She had on a ridiculously short skirt; every inch of her skin from the top of her thighs to her delicate ankles on display. Her hair was pulled up into two messy buns on either side of her head; soft tendrils falling from each and framing her lovely heart shaped face and beautiful green eyes. She was the prettiest little thing Saizo had ever laid eyes on, and he'd been trying to get under that skirt for as long as he could remember.

"Hey, Saizo." She muttered, exchanging looks with Ohina.

Ohina giggled, pouring coffee into a large patterned mug. "I'm just going to run this up to Odairi." She said with a wicked smile.

"I'll go with you." MVS jumped off the counter, her skirt catching a moment on its edge.

Saizo sucked in a sharp breath, his cock twitching at the sight of her white lace panties.

"I won't be long." Ohina said quickly. "You just stay here and keep Saizo company until I get back."

"That's a great idea." Saizo added, smiling at MVS.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, Hina, but hurry up. I don't want to be late."

"Got it!" Ohina chirped, leaving him and MVS alone in the massive kitchen.

"So," Saizo began, moving to mix the shakes. "How are things? Enjoying life with your new master?"

"I am." She answered stonily.

"What's his name again?"

"Master Fera."

"He must be good to you if he's managed to keep you this long."

"He is." She replied shortly.

"You know, this conversation would go a lot smoother if you actually tried to participate."

"Look Saizo, we been through this a hundred times before. We exchange a bit of small talk, catch up on things that don't matter, and then you hit me with some corny line that you think is going to make me throw myself at you."

"That's not true!"

"Oh, sweetie, it is. Nothing against you, but you're so not my type. And even if you were, I know for a fact I'm not yours."

"Again, not true."

"Really? Then explain why you want me so badly. What makes me different from all the other girls you're constantly chasing? And if I were you, I'd avoid mentioning things like my legs, breasts and ass."

Saizo opened in his mouth to reply, but she'd pretty much covered the top three on his list.

"Your eyes." He blurted out.

"My eyes?"

"Yes. They're lovely." He stepped forward, closing the distance between them. "Even with that skeptical look, they're still the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Like clear cut emeralds." He leaned down, his mouth inches away from her plump lips.

Saizo could feel his groin tighten; anticipation of this long awaited kiss causing all kinds of ungentlemanly images to flash through his mind. He was just about to seal the deal when she suddenly burst out laughing.

"Sorry!" She managed to get out through her flurry of giggles.

Saizo glowered in irritation. "I'm not exactly sure what's so amusing about this situation, but please, enlighten me."

"Oh, Saizo! For all you pretty words and compliments, you're still a complete idiot. You know this would never work. All you want is sex, and once you get it, this infatuation of yours will fade. Just like it does with all your other conquests."

"You never know." He said with a wry smile. "It could be different this time. We won't know unless we try."

"And that right there is why this is so comical!" She patted his cheek. "You put on a good show, Saizo, but you and me: Never going to happen."

"You're breaking my heart."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're going to cry yourself to sleep tonight."

"Okay, okay. You got me. From now on, we'll just be friends. Deal?"

"Deal."

"How about a hug?"

She rolled her eyes, but let him pull her into his arm. Just before he let go, he whispered in her ear.

"But if you ever change your mind, you let me know."

She laughed, pushing him off. "I'll do that. Now, I'm going to go find Hina. She probably thinks she's being slick leaving us in here alone."

"Well, tell her I said thanks for trying." Saizo winked.

"No problem." She replied, winking back. "See you around."

"Yeah, see you."

Saizo turned to watch her leave, surprised to find Sasuke standing at the entrance to the kitchen. He was pale, his lips parted as if he wanted to speak.

"Heya, Sasuke." MVS said, pausing beside him for a moment. "You may want to give your friend over there a shoulder to cry on. Apparently he's nursing a broken heart."

Sasuke laughed, but it sounded forced. "Don't worry, Moon, I'll take care of him."

With that, MVS skipped from the room, leaving the two of them alone.

"You look like you're going to be sick any moment." Saizo said, walking towards Sasuke.

The Divina took a step back, smiling weakly. "Yeah, I think I caught a bug or something. Maybe it was the food last night."

"Here, sit down. I'll me make something to settle your stomach."

"No, it's fine. I think I'll just go back upstairs and lay down for a bit."

"Okay. I'll grab some breakfast and meet you up there. We can spar later if you feel up to it."

"No!" Sasuke said quickly. "I mean, you shouldn't waste your day watching me rest."

"It's no problem. This way, if you need something, I'll be right there to help."

Sasuke sighed. "That's nice of you, but I think I'll be fine. Maybe Date is around. I'm sure he'll spar with you in my place."

"But…"

"Really, Saizo, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright, if you insist. I'll come check on you around dinner."

"Thanks, I'll see you later."

Saizo watched Sasuke make his way back up the stairs to his room. Like hell he was going to leave the Divina alone! Something was seriously wrong with Sasuke, and if things took a turn for the worst, then he'd be there to help.

He grabbed an apple and followed Sasuke quietly up the stairs. To his surprise, Sasuke didn't make the left to his room. Instead, he made his way towards the Phantom side of the house. Saizo frowned, wondering where he could be heading.

Saizo kept his distance, dipping behind the nearest corner when Sasuke finally stopped in front of Goemon Ishikawa's door. He knocked twice, waited a few seconds, then knocked again. The door opened and Goemon appeared, yawning widely and rubbing his massive chest.

"You busy?" Sasuke asked feebly.

"Nah, just woke up."

"Do you mind if I come in?"

"Not at all."

"Thanks."

Saizo heard the door shut, followed by the click of the lock. He stumbled from behind the corner, not sure whether he was more angry or hurt. Goemon was both he and Sasuke's friend, but Saizo couldn't think of a single time when Sasuke had sought out the Phantom's company instead of his.

Saizo clenched his fists, debating on whether or not he should knock on the door. He realized then he was definitely more angry than hurt. If he went knocking now, there was a good chance he'd end up saying something he didn't mean. And possibly break the door down in the process…

He took a deep breath, turning on his heels and heading straight for Date's room. He needed a sparring partner; someone whose face he could take his anger out on.

**CHAPTER 3**

"Everything okay?" Goemon asked, gesturing for Sasuke to have a seat.

"Not really."

Sasuke looked up at Goemon, not sure why he thought the Phantom would be able to help him. Unfortunately, he didn't know who else to talk to. He had other friends, but none he trusted with his secret.

"Let me grab a shirt." Goemon said. "Then you can tell me all about it."

Sasuke leaned back in the chair, watching Goemon dig through his dresser draw. The Phantom was massive, his broad back covered in scars. Those who didn't know the daemon would probably find him intimidating, but if they actually spent time with him, they would know he had a kind soul.

Goemon pulled a shirt over his head, then quickly tied back his shoulder length hair. He sat on the edge of his bed, signaling he was ready to listen, but now that Sasuke had the Phantom's undivided attention, he wasn't sure where or how to start.

"It's about Saizo. I-I think I might…" Sasuke paused, trying to find a way to phrase his thoughts without revealing too much of his true feelings.

"Take your time." Goemon said. "Whatever it is, I promise I won't judge."

Sasuke looked up then, scrutinizing every detail of Goemon's expression. There was something strange about the way the Phantom was looking at him…

"You know?" Sasuke asked in a hushed voice.

Goemon bit his lip, running a hand down his mouth.

"Holy shit, you know!"

Sasuke jumped out of his seat and raced for the door, too embarrassed to face his friend any longer. He almost made it, but Goemon grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Yes, I already know, but you came here for a reason, Sasuke. I can only assume it means you're ready to talk about your feelings for Saizo."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Sasuke sputtered, trying to pull his arm from Goemon's grasp.

"You like Saizo. I'd even venture to say you love him. You're here because you need someone to talk to about it; help you figure out how to deal with it all."

"Y-you… H-how…"

It was a good thing Goemon was still holding onto him, because he kind of just collapsed to the floor.

"Listen, Sasuke." Goemon said, dropping to one knee in front of him. "If you're worried I might judge, or think differently of you, you have nothing to worry about."

"How long have you known?" Sasuke questioned, unable to look the Phantom in the eyes.

"Since last spring, but my suspicions weren't confirmed until a few weeks ago."

Sasuke covered his mouth with his hand; tears burning his eyes. He could feel the blood draining from his face. If Goemon knew, then others might as well. Even Saizo!

"I think I'm going to be sick." Sasuke whispered.

Sasuke scrambled for the trash can just in time. Unfortunately, there was nothing in his belly, so he ended up vomiting nothing but stomach acid. He dry-heaved for several more seconds while Goemon patted him on the back comfortingly.

"Geez, you're really torn up about this."

"Do you think he knows?" Sasuke asked, looking up at Goemon through watery eyes.

"Who? Saizo?" Goemon snickered. "Please! He's too oblivious to notice such things. Maybe if you were a girl or something… But as it stands now, I highly doubt it."

"I should be relived." Sasuke replied, coughing a few more times. "But it's only a matter of time before he figures it out. By the way," he asked, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "How did _you_ figure it out?"

"Well, it was little things at first. Like the way you look at him, and the fact that you never leave his side."

"But we're always together. Maybe it's Saizo that never leaves _my_ side."

Goemon shook his head. "You go where he goes, not the other way around. Example, you come to our poker game every weekend. You hate poker and the drinking that goes along with it, but you come because Saizo likes that stuff, and you want to be near him no matter what. If you still don't believe me, try to getting him to go with you to one of your anime conventions. I guarantee he'd find a million reasons not to go."

Sasuke sighed heavily. The Phantom was right. It was obvious who was infatuated with whom.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Goemon. It's painful just to be next to him. Do you know how many times a day I have to watch him flirt with girls? I walked in on him and Moon this morning. It's not even 8 am and he's already trying to get into her pants!"

"That's just how Saizo is. He's a friendly guy."

"Friendly? You call sleeping with a waitress in the bathroom at Joruri's Bar and Grill, friendly? They talked for like 10 minutes, and the next thing I know, I'm standing guard outside the door while they fuck each other's brains out."

Goemon blew out a slow breath. "That's harsh, but it's not like he's trying torture you on purpose. He doesn't know how you feel about him. Maybe if you confessed, then…"

"No! I can't do that. He'd think I was disgusting for feeling like this." Sasuke buried his face in his hands. "He'd hate me."

"You don't know that for certain."

Sasuke's head snapped up. "Don't I?!" He asked incredulously. "In all the years I've known Saizo, he's never said, 'hey, look at that hot _guy_ over!' He's straighter than a bloody arrow! If I confess, I'll lose him forever!"

"I understand what you're saying, Sasuke." Goemon replied. "But what happens to _you_ if you don't confess? You're making yourself sick over this." He sighed, helping Sasuke to his feet. "Saizo's a good guy. I know you're scared, but I really think if you tell him the truth, he'll understand. He may not be able to love you the same way in return, but at least it will be out in the open."

Sasuke ran a shaky hand through his hair, trying to keep himself from being sick again. He wanted to believe what Goemon said was true, but fear is a powerful deterrent.

"Do you mind if I crash here for a while?" He asked Goemon.

"Sure," the Phantom replied, "but you won't be able to hide here for long. He will find you. In fact, this will probably be the first place he looks."

"That's fine. I just need a day or so to figure things out. Promise you won't tell him?"

"I'll try, but you know how Saizo is."

"Yeah, I know.

"Let's not worry about it now. I'll grab an extra futon from downstairs and bring you up something to eat."

"Thanks for this, Goemon."

"No worries, Divina." He replied ruffling Sasuke's hair. "If all else fails, you still have me."

**CHAPTER 4**

Sasuke wandered out of Goemon's room sometime after midnight. The Phantom had been more than accommodating; keeping him fed and allowing him to watch TV and play video games to his heart's content.

Sasuke intended to stay a couple more days with Goemon, but he needed to pick up a few things from his room. The Phantom had offered to go for him, but Sasuke needed to get out of the room for a bit. There was no way Saizo was still up, so he was confident he wouldn't run into him.

He walked through the corridor leading back to the Divina section of the house. Either side of the long hallway was lined with floor to ceiling windows, letting in the soft glow of the moon and starlight. Sasuke paused a moment to take in the view, pressing his palm to the cool glass. Maybe he would go outside for a bit; let the crisp night air clear his thoughts.

Sasuke turned towards the staircase, deciding then that he would go for a walk before heading to his room to pack a bag. He'd just placed a hand on the railing when a whisper of a sound caught his ear. Sasuke spun around, his arms coming up just in time to block the leg hurling towards his head.

Sasuke knew who his attacker was before he ever saw his face. He also knew that the onslaught would not stop until one of them was defeated.

"Where are you going?!" Saizo shouted, dodging Sasuke's flurry of headshots.

"None of your fucking business!" He roared back.

They traded blows, both refusing to show mercy. Evenly matched, it was nearly impossible for either one of them to gain the upper hand. Saizo was angry. The Divina was far more aggressive than normal. The pained look on his face worried Sasuke to the point of distraction…

When Saizo finally landed a blow, it nearly knocked all of Sasuke's teeth out. He stumbled backward, trying to regain his composure, but his foot slipped off the top step and he toppled down the stairs.

"Sasuke!" Saizo screamed, instinctively reaching out for him. He wasn't fast enough…

_Pain_. It was the only thing Sasuke's mind could register. He landed awkwardly on his side, aware that his right leg was twisted at an odd angle. He blinked, trying to clear the black spots dancing in his vision.

"Damn it, Sasuke!" Saizo said, dropping to his knees beside him. "You could've blocked that!"

"So it's my fault?" Sasuke grunted, wincing in pain.

"Yes! I mean no! Jesus, Sasuke!" Saizo ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I need to get you to a healer!"

"My knee is dislocated." He mumbled, grabbing Saizo's arm to stop him. "You need to reset it first."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Saizo nodded. "Try not to scream too loudly." He said, maneuvering Sasuke onto his back. "You can squeeze my arm as tight as you need to. Don't worry about hurting me."

"Just do it already!" Sasuke bit out.

"Okay, okay. On the count of three. One, two…" Saizo snapped the knee back in place.

"Son of a….!" You said on the count of three!"

"Sorry." Saizo muttered, his expression not even close to remorseful. "Do you think you can stand?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so."

"Good, I'll help you up to your room then go get help."

"No." Sasuke said. "I'm okay now. It was just my knee. It'll be fine in a few days."

"No way! We need to make sure nothing is fractured of broken." Saizo pulled Sasuke to his feet. "Lean on me." He commanded, wrapping Sasuke's arm around his neck.

Sasuke sighed in frustration. "I said I'm fine. Just get me over to the railing and then you can go."

"Dude, I'm not just going to leave you!" Saizo slid his other arm around Sasuke's waist, pulling him tightly against his body.

"Why do you even care?!" Sasuke barked, desperately trying to pull away. "You don't even consider me a friend, so why are you making such a big deal over this?!"

"What are you talking about?! Of course you're my friend!" Saizo picked Sasuke up off the ground, throwing him over his shoulder. "After all we've been through, I can't believe you'd think so low of me!"

"Put me down!" Sasuke yelped.

Saizo held him in place, his arms wrapped tightly around Sasuke's thighs. "Just hold still until I get you up the stairs!"

"No, I can walk on my own!"

"Like hell you can! Now be still!"

"Saizo, please…" Sasuke pleaded.

Sasuke tried to wriggle out of the Divina's grip. He could feel his body responding to Saizo's touch despite the pain he was currently in. It was only a matter of time before Saizo felt it, too.

They barely made it to the top of the stairs before Sasuke managed to get free. He fell to the ground, taking Saizo with him. The Divina landed heavily on top of Sasuke, a slew of curse words flying from his lips.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sasuke?! You could've killed us both!"

"Get off!" Sasuke shrieked, his erection now hot and heavy between his legs.

"I will! Would you give me a bloody second?! Let me just…"

Saizo froze, his words trailing off. He looked down at Sasuke, his eyes wide with shock and confusion. A rush of heat filled Sasuke's cheeks, tears welling up in his eyes. Panic surged forth, and pressing both hands to Saizo's chest, he pushed as hard as he could.

As soon as Sazio was off of him, Sasuke tried to get to his feet. He immediately cried out in pain, dropping back to the floor and clutching his knee.

"What's going on?!" The sound of Goemon's booming voice echoed through the hall as he ran towards them.

"H-he… I-I…" Saizo stumbled over his words, inching further and further away from Sasuke.

Through his blinding pain, Sasuke could see the look of revulsion in Saizo's eyes. His tears fell freely now, but at least he could blame them on the pain from his knee.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" Goemon rushed to his side. "Try not to move. What the hell happened, Saizo?!"

"Uh… I-it's his knee. H-he dislocated it."

"Help me get him up!" Goemon commanded.

"No!" Saizo said quickly. "I-I mean, I'll go get help while you get him to his room."

Goemon examined Saizo closely, understanding dawning on his face. "Don't worry about it." He sneered. "I'll take it from here."

"Y-you sure? I can bring a healer."

"I said I got it!" Goemon snapped. "I think it's best if you just go."

"Y-yeah." Saizo nodded in agreement, scrambling to his feet. "I'll leave it to you."

And with that, he was gone.

Goemon gently lifted Sasuke into his arms, pretending not to see the tears pouring from his eyes.

"He knows." Sasuke croaked.

"It would seem so." Goemon replied grimly.

"He hates me."

"What happened? Did you tell him?"

"I didn't have to." Sasuke groaned, letting his head fall against Goemon's arm. "I didn't exactly make it hard for him to figure out. Actually," he continued, groaning again, "that's exactly what I did."

Goemon sighed. "I don't believe it's as bad as you think it is. If I had to guess, I'd say the Divina is more confused than anything else. Give him some time to work out what he's feeling."

"I could give him all the time in the world and it wouldn't change anything. He thinks I'm disgusting, Goemon. I could see it in his eyes."

"Let's just get you back to my room." Goemon replied. "You can tell me what happened, and we can figure things out from there."

"There's no point." Sasuke muttered. "I've lost him, Goemon. Just like I said I would."

**CHAPTER 5**

He wouldn't think about it. He would pretend that he hadn't felt Sasuke's hard length bulging demandingly against his thigh. If he could convince himself that it had never happened, then he and Sasuke could go back to how things used to be.

Saizo had been telling himself that for the past 3 days, yet every time he'd head towards Sasuke's room, his feet ended up taking him as far away from the Divina as possible. Four times they'd almost run into each other, and all four times Saizo had literally run in the opposite direction.

In all honesty, Saizo couldn't be sure that Sasuke's… reaction, could be contributed to him. Just because the Divina happened to get an erection while he was carrying him up a flight of stairs, didn't mean that his frenemy suddenly liked him. After all, guys could get hard-ons anytime and anywhere. Who's to say that Sasuke didn't have a thing for pain?

Saizo sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. Even he knew an excuse like that was ridiculous. And the more he thought about Sasuke's strange behavior over the past few weeks, the more things started to make sense. In fact, he was very familiar with this phenomenon, having experienced it with any number of females.

_Sasuke had a crush on him..._

Saizo's first reaction was complete and utter disgust. Men were supposed to like women; simple as that. What Sasuke felt was… unnatural. Saizo knew a few others with this peculiar preference; most notably Barbatos and Ikutachi. And although Saizo was relatively familiar with the process of how two men… you know… he couldn't understand why any of them would _want_ to. Women were so deliciously perfect; all soft curves and delicate features. Much better than some scruffy, hard-bodied male. Yes, something was clearly wrong with Sasuke, and Saizo was one hundred percent sure he wanted nothing to do with him or his perverse tastes.

The concept of ending his friendship with Sasuke seemed simple enough. They had some of the same friends and enjoyed a few common hobbies, but when it came right down to it, any awkward or unwanted encounters could be easily avoided. After all, they lived in a mansion. One could go for days without seeing the same face twice. It would be hard at first, but perhaps with time, any remnants of their association would fade into quiet obscurity.

_But what would life be like without Sasuke?_

It was a question Saizo had asked himself every day since the moment he'd learned the truth of Sasuke's feelings. And although he wasn't ready to admit it out loud, in the back of his mind; tucked somewhere in a small dark corner, Saizo knew the truth. Letting Sasuke go would be impossible. The Divina was his worst friend and best enemy. And if you took the time to think about it, didn't that mean they were actually best friends? As awkward and out of place as Saizo's feelings seemed, especially in light of his new found knowledge, the thought of being without Sasuke made him ache somewhere deep inside.

So here he was. His head trapped in this strange tug-a-war with his heart. Did he end his friendship and force himself to forget about Sasuke? Or did he feign ignorance, and see if they could go back to the way things were?

Saizo huffed in frustration, snatching his Budweiser bottle off the table and downing the remaining beer in one gulp.

"What's up with you?" Barbatos asked, his gaze moving from the cards in his hands to Saizo. "You've been sighing since you sat down."

"Nothing." Saizo replied, getting up to grab another beer from the fridge.

It was poker night, and up until now, it had been Saizo's favorite part of the week. He and his friends would gather to drink, play cards and catch up. It was his sanctuary and Saizo looked forward to it every week. Except for tonight…

He'd expected Sasuke to show up. Expected things to be so painfully awkward that one of them finally left. But when Goemon showed up and Sasuke didn't, Saizo felt almost… disappointed. From that moment on, Saizo could think of nothing but the Divina.

"You sure?" Odairi called after him. "You seem out of it."

"Yeah." Rhongomiant added. "You haven't won a single game all night. Not that I mind. It's nice to be winning for once."

Saizo dropped back into his seat, popping open his beer. His eyes flickered to Goemon, but the Phantom wasn't paying him any attention. He was yapping away with Bunchu, just like he'd been doing since the game started. It irritated Saizo to no end. Goemon was his friend, too, yet the man hadn't said a single word to him about Sasuke.

"I'm fine." Saizo replied, drinking deeply from his bottle.

"Obviously." Barbatos chuckled. "If something's going on, you know you can tell us. Maybe we can help."

"I don't want to talk about it." Saizo replied sharply.

"Leave him alone guys." Goemon finally spoke, shooting Saizo a cool look. "He clearly doesn't want to talk about it."

Saizo's eyes narrowed on the Phantom, not sure he liked the patronizing tone he was using. "I don't need you to defend me." He said coldly.

"I wasn't." Goemon replied, his eyes flashing a warning. "I'm just trying to keep the game going. Not everything is about you, Divina."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Odairi said, looking from Saizo to Goemon. "What's with the hostility?"

"No hostility." Goemon answered with a shrug. "But if Saizo doesn't want to talk about it, then there's no sense in wasting time trying to get it out of him."

"O-kay." Barbatos said cautiously, exchanging worried looks with Rhongomiant.

"Has something happened between the two of you?" Bunchu asked, glancing at Goemon.

"Nope." The Phantom replied shortly.

"Riiiiiiight." Odairi said, tossing his cards on the table. "By the way, I fold."

"Come on guys." Barbatos said, trying to sound supportive. "If something's going on with you two, then it's best to get it out in the open. We're all friends here, remember?"

"Barbatos is right." Bunchu added. "There's no judgment here. Let us help."

"Wait, does it have to do with Sasuke?" Odairi asked the question as if suddenly realizing the Divina was missing from the table. "Is that why he didn't show up tonight?"

"I fold." Saizo said, standing up and tossing his cards on the table.

"Bingo." Barbatos snickered, leaning back in his seat. "You two must have had a fight or something."

"And it looks like Goemon took Sasuke's side on it." Rhongomiant added with a smile.

"It's none of your fucking business, Anima." Saizo answered frigidly. "It's got nothing to do with any of you. Goemon included."

Saizo snatched his bottle off the table, guzzling the rest before making a beeline for the refrigerator again. He grabbed two cases of beer and turned back to the table. He was too angry to say anything else, and frankly, he was afraid of what might come out should he open his mouth again. The daemons at the table were among his most trusted friends, but he was certainly not going to tell them anything about what was going on between him and Sasuke. Especially since he wasn't entirely sure _he_ knew what was going on.

"There's no need to leave, Saizo." Rhongomiant said. "We'll stop hounding you about it."

"Yeah." Barbatos added. "Sit back down so I can finish taking your silver."

Saizo surveyed the table, his eyes landing on Goemon's stony gaze. "I'm tired." He said finally.

Saizo marched from the room, the beer cases still in hand. He wanted to pound that condescending look right off Goemon's face. What was going on between him and Sasuke had nothing to do with the Phantom, yet the daemon looked down upon him with judgment in his eyes.

"Fuck him." Saizo hissed under his breath.

This wasn't his fault. He wasn't the one who had disgusting and unnatural feelings. Clearly Sasuke was to blame. He was the reason their friendship was now falling apart. If anyone should be upset, it was Saizo. Not Sasuke, and certainly not Goemon.

**CHAPTER 6**

He was drunk. Sasuke could smell the alcohol radiating from his pores.

"What are you doing here, Saizo?" Sasuke asked cautiously. "It's almost 3 o'clock in the morning."

Saizo made no move to answer, he merely stared at Sasuke; his dark eyes unreadable. He stepped into the bedroom; the force of his presence seeming to fill the entire room.

"S-Saizo?" Sasuke stuttered, his body instinctively moving back as Saizo continued to move forward. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

The Divina didn't answer. He just stared; his gaze moving up and down the length of Sasuke's body. He kicked the door shut with the back of his foot, blindly reaching back to lock the door.

"You're scaring me, Saizo."

Sasuke knew Saizo better than he knew himself, but the daemon in front of him now was a stranger. There was a darkness in Saizo's eyes that Sasuke had never seen before. Was it rage? Hatred? Desire?

Sasuke trembled, his mind screaming for him to run. He could overpower Saizo long enough to flee, but even as his mind begged him to escape; his body was too terrified, too… curious to move. There was a reason Saizo was here; a reason he'd sought Sasuke out despite the current state of their friendship. Sasuke wanted to know what it was...

The backs of Sasuke's legs hit the edge of his mattress, his chest tightening when he realized there was nowhere else to go. Saizo stood before him. His massive form looming dangerously above him. Even if he tried to run now, there was little chance he would make it to the door.

"You," Saizo whispered, "ruined everything."

"W-what? I don't under…."

"Don't play dumb." Saizo hissed. "This is your fault. Things between us were perfect, but you had to go and…"

His words trailed off, and there was such pain and resentment in his eyes that it made Sasuke want to weep.

"I'm sorry." Sasuke pleaded. "You're right, this is my fault. I didn't want things to turn out this way, I swear! I tried to stop feeling like this, but I… I..."

There was so much Sasuke wanted to say. Needed to say. But before he could speak, Saizo's mouth was on his; his tongue forcing its way into his mouth. Sasuke's mind was reeling; unable to grasp a single coherent thought. Suddenly he was on the bed; Saizo's hands tearing at his clothes. Sasuke tried to stop him, but the Divina managed to rip off his pajama pants with little effort.

"Saizo!" Sasuke shouted his name, not sure if he wanted the Divina to stop or keep going.

In the end, it didn't matter. Saizo was long past the point of stopping. The Divina ripped open the front of Sasuke's shirt, his hot mouth nipping and sucking its way to the tender peak of his nipple. Somewhere in the haze of confusion and fear, desire blossomed within Sasuke. A tiny moan escaped his lips as his body responded to Saizo's passionate attack.

The involuntary sound was like throwing gasoline on a fire. Saizo's hands were suddenly everywhere; his mouth desperate to explore every nook and cranny of Sasuke's exposed skin. Sasuke could no longer focus; his every thought scattering with each frenzied kiss and caress. All these feelings and sensations were new to him, and with everything happening so fast, all he could do was hold on for dear life.

It was shocking and wonderful; passionate and terrifying. Sasuke didn't want it to end. This was everything he'd hoped for, and this time it wasn't a dream…

Saizo broke the kiss, his breath ragged and his eyes full of primal need. Sitting back on his heels, he yanked off the plain white t-shirt he wore. Sasuke inhaled sharply, watching as the muscles in Saizo's chest and arms flexed as he undid the top of his pants.

_God he's beautiful… _

The thought skittered across Sasuke's mind just before Saizo claimed his mouth once again…

"More." Sasuke whispered between kisses, reaching between their bodies and taking hold of Saizo's cock.

The Divina hissed, clenching his teeth and accidently nipping the tender skin of Sasuke's bottom lip. Saizo pressed his forehead to Sasuke's shoulder, arching his back so there was enough room for Sasuke to stroke the full length of his dick.

Saizo moved his hips in harmony with Sasuke's strokes; his breathing becoming even more labored and ragged. Sasuke wanted to see his face. He wanted to watch as the Divina found his release, but Saizo seemed determined not to look up.

In the final moments before his orgasm, Saizo took hold of Sasuke's hand, forcing him to move faster and squeeze harder. The Divina cried out in pleasure, his hot seed spraying Sasuke's bare stomach. Sasuke continued to stroke until he felt Saizo's body relax in his arms.

Saizo collapsed onto his side, releasing Sasuke almost immediately. When Sasuke reached out for the Divina's arm, he pulled away, rolling so that he faced away from him. Staring at the Divina's back, Sasuke watched in silence as Saizo's breathing fell into the slow steady rhythm of sleep.

It's difficult to say what Sasuke felt in that moment. The whole thing had happened so fast, that his mind was still trying to catch up. Sliding off the bed, he moved blindly towards the bathroom, switching on the light to examine himself in the mirror.

His lips were red and swollen from Saizo's kisses, and there were several love marks speckled across his neck and chest. His hair was in complete disarray, and there was a small cut on his bottom lip where Saizo had accidently bitten him. But most disturbing of all, were the silent tears rolling down his flushed cheeks.

Turning the shower to the hottest setting, Sasuke stepped into the stream of scolding water. He felt dirty and used and strangely… empty. Though he knew he should be furious, Sasuke couldn't seem to summon enough anger to be outraged. All he wanted to do was wash away the evidence of Saizo's drunken lust, and forget any of it ever happened. He scrubbed his body until his skin was practically raw; the steaming water stinging against his tender flesh.

Unfortunately, there was no way to get rid of the love marks, so Sasuke dug out an old turtleneck from his dresser draw and pulled it over his damp head. He slipped on a pair of boxers and jeans, then set about gathering his torn clothing from the floor and redressing Saizo's unconscious body. When he was satisfied he'd gotten rid of any incriminating evidence, Sasuke made his way to Goemon's room.

He knocked lightly on the Phantom's door, trying to school his face to cool indifference. He'd stopped crying sometime during his shower, and made sure to check that his eyes were no longer red before he'd left his bedroom.

"Sasuke?" Goemon asked groggily. "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help with something." Sasuke replied. He'd practiced the lie on his way to the Phantom's room, so the words flowed effortlessly from his lips. "Saizo got completed wasted last night. I'm not sure why, but he ended coming to my room. I tried to get him to leave, but he ended up passing out on my bed. He's too heavy for me to lift since he's practically dead weight right now, so I was wondering if you could help me get him back to his room."

"Right now? It's like four in the morning."

"Yeah, I know, but I'm afraid if he wakes up in my room we'll start fighting again."

Goemon sighed heavily. "Alright, let me get some clothes on and I'll meet you down there."

"Thanks."

Sasuke made his way back to his room, relieved that Goemon had accepted the lie. He wasn't sure what he would've done if the Phantom had questioned the holes in his story.

When he got back to his room, Saizo was still passed out on the bed. He lay on his back now; his chest rising and falling steadily, and both hands tucked behind his head like he didn't have a care in the world. It irritated Sasuke, but at the same time he was struck with the urge to climb onto the bed and rest his head on the Divina's chest.

Sasuke thumbed the tender cut on his lip; the gentle throbbing a reminder of why that was a bad idea. Though Sasuke's heart wanted to believe this fateful encounter was a sign of Saizo's subconscious desire for him, his mind was smart enough to reject the absolutely ridiculous idea. This was just another one of Saizo's drunken stunts, and Sasuke was just another one of his unwitting victims. As far as he was concerned, this had never happened, and more likely than not, Saizo would never remember coming to his room in the first place.

_Good._ Sasuke thought; his resolve strengthening by the minute. _It'll make forgetting him that much easier._

**CHAPTER 7**

Saizo wandered into the kitchen sometime around 11:00 am. His head was pounding and his stomach had been on the verge of empty its contents since the moment he'd rolled out of his bed.

"You look like you need coffee." Ohina said, her high pitched voice threatening to shatter Saizo's ear drums.

"Do me a favor and don't talk." Saizo said, fumbling towards the coffee maker.

She laughed softly, starting a pot for him. He grunted a thank you and staggered over to one of the small breakfast nooks. Sunshine was streaming in from every direction, so finding a spot in the shadows was impossible. He'd just have to bear with it until his coffee was finished.

"Here." Ohina said, setting a glass down in front of him. "You need water more than coffee."

"Thanks." Saizo mumbled.

"Odairi's in worse shape than you are." Ohina chattered on. "I don't know why he insists on trying to keep up with you and the other's drinking habits. He knows he's a light weight, yet every Saturday morning, I'm up bright and early, ready to nurse his inevitable hangover."

"Ohina." Saizo groaned. "I love you to death, but please shut up. My head feels like it's going to explode."

"Serves you right." She snorted viciously, making a concerted effort to create as much noise as possible while pouring him a cup of coffee. "You're welcome." She muttered, setting a mug in front of him. Not waiting for his reply, she swept regally from the kitchen.

Saizo lifted his head, inhaling the delicious scent of the dark rich liquid. He noticed then that Ohina had set two tablets next to the glass of water she'd left for him. Blessing the saints for her momentary display of kindness, he tossed back the pain killers, then guzzled the entire glass of water. He put his head down on the table again, waiting a few minutes for the medicine to kick in and his coffee to cool down.

When he finally felt like he could stand direct sunlight once more, he lifted his head and started in on his coffee. He was on his third sip when he saw Sasuke run past one of the kitchen windows. He was armed, and his face was flushed with color. Before Saizo could think differently, he got up from his seat and walked to the window; coffee in hand.

He reached the glass just in time to see Goemon whiz past as well. The Phantom was armed with a set of throwing knives, and based on all the evidence before him; Saizo deduced that they were currently in the middle of a friendly battle. His suspicions were confirmed, when Goemon launched a knife at Sasuke's back leg. The Divina must have caught the movement out of the corner of his eye, because his feet immediately side-stepped the blade.

Unfortunately for Sasuke, he misjudged his landing, his left foot twisting at an awkward angle beneath him. Saizo snickered. Just like the Divina; always leaping, but never taking a moment to see where he might land…

Sasuke tumbled face forward to the ground, rolling several feet before coming to a stop. Goemon slowed, jogging to where the Divina lay and immediately dropping to his knees beside him. Sasuke, completely undeterred by the fall, sat up and brushed the dirt from his clothes, smiling widely at the Phantom. The unguarded expression caused Saizo's heart to stutter half a beat.

_How long had it been since he'd seen that smile? _

The idea that Sasuke would share it with Goemon, and not him, was infuriating. He was Sasuke's best friend! He was the Divina's morning sparring partner!

"That son of a bitch!" Saizo hissed; his rage focused directly on the Phantom.

Sasuke must have said something hysterical, because Goemon threw his head back in laughter. Saizo bristled angrily, wondering when the two daemons had gotten so uncomfortably comfortable with each other. He was just about to turn away and head back to his room, when Goemon did the most unexpected thing… He kissed Sasuke.

It was a light kiss, come and gone before the Divina recognized what it was. Sasuke looked so completely shocked and confused, that Saizo was sure he was going to punch Goemon square in the nose. You can imagine his surprise when instead of hitting the Phantom, Sasuke leaned forward and kissed him back.

The coffee cup slipped from Saizo's hands, shattering onto the white tiled floor. The liquid was still hot, but Saizo couldn't feel it. In fact, he couldn't feel anything.

**CHAPTER 8**

It was an innocent kiss; tentative and exploratory, but it didn't take a genius to figure out the intent behind it. Although Sasuke had never considered Goemon as a potential lover, he found that he wasn't entirely against the idea. So, under the shade of a Japanese maple tree, Sasuke took a chance and kissed the Phantom back.

Goemon was clearly surprised at Sasuke's boldness, but his disbelief was short-lived. He took Sasuke into his arms, adjusting him so that he sat comfortably on his lap. The kiss lasted longer than Sasuke had intended, and though it wasn't as passionate and breath-taking as Saizo's kiss was last night, Sasuke decided that it was one he could get used to. Even learn to love given enough time and practice.

Goemon was the one who broke the kiss first, his lips hovering over Sasuke's for several moments before he finally spoke.

"I've wanted to do that for so long." The Phantom whispered, nuzzling Sasuke's nose with his.

"You did?" Sasuke asked, not sure what else to say to such an obvious confession of love.

Goemon took a deep breath, making sure to meet Sasuke's eyes when he replied. "I like you. I know this is probably the worst time to tell you this, but I don't think I can keep quiet for much longer. I know how you feel about Saizo, and I know that right now you're hurting and vulnerable, but I need you to know that I'm here for you. And as more than just a friend."

Sasuke swallowed, not sure what to say. Goemon was right. He was hurting. And though he'd never admit that he could ever be vulnerable, he was in fact walking around with a gaping hole in his heart.

"I'm leaving." Goemon continued. "And I want you to come with me. I know you love Saizo, but he's never going to understand you the way I do. I may not be what you want right now, but I can make you happy if you let me."

Sasuke blew out a long breath, letting go of Goemon and moving slowly away.

"I don't know what to say." Sasuke replied honestly, unable to meet the Phantom's expectant gaze.

"You don't have to say anything right now." Goemon said, taking hold of Sasuke's chin and forcing him to meet his eyes. "If you ask me to, I'll wait as long as it takes."

Sasuke could feel his cheeks burning. The Phantom certainly had a way with words. And he was definitely more charming than Saizo would ever be.

_So what was the problem? Why couldn't he say yes?_

"I-I need some time." Sasuke replied hesitantly. "I care about you and I value our friendship. I'm just not sure I can…" His words trailed off; unable to finish his sentence for fear of the pain it would cause the Phantom.

"I understand." Goemon replied comfortingly. "You don't need to explain anything to me." The Phantom stood, holding out his hand to help Sasuke up. "I leave in 3 days, but if and when you're ready, I'll always be here. You just have to say the word."

Sasuke took his hand, biting the inside of his cheek to keep the tears from starting.

_Why did the Phantom have to be so bloody understanding?! _

"I can see the guilt burning in your eyes, Sasuke." Goemon said, pressing the Divina's knuckles to his lips. "Please don't worry about me. I'm only telling you this because I want you to know how I truly feel. Whatever your decision, we will always be friends. I swear to you, with everything I have, our friendship will remain just as strong as it has ever been."

Sasuke groaned. "Geez, Goemon. Why do you have to be so God damn perfect? You make it hard to say no."

Goemon laughed humorlessly. "I'm at war for your heart." He replied matter-of-factly. "Now is not the time to hold back."


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 9**

Saizo waited for Sasuke at the entrance of the foyer, cleverly hidden behind one of the potted plants Master Akasha insisted on keeping around the mansion. For 3 days he'd been trying to talk to Sasuke, but the Divina insisted on avoiding him. Now he knew why. If he'd known about Sasuke's plans earlier, Saizo would have been a tad more persistent in his attempts. As a result, he was now forced to take drastic measures.

It was all happenstance that Saizo found out what was going on. Nothing more than a case of being in the right place at the right time. Over breakfast that morning, he'd overheard Ohina telling Odairi, that she'd heard from Bisque, who'd heard from Kushinada, who'd heard from Mira, that Sasuke was leaving with Goemon today. Saizo had immediately gone to investigate, hoping it was all a lie, but when he found the Phantom packing his and Sasuke's things into a massive truck, Saizo had a brief, yet very intense, moment of panic.

Apparently, Goemon had been offered a position working directly for the Guild. What exactly that position was, no one knew, not even Master Akasha. But based on the Intel Mira had received from Professor Yata; the Phantom had been brought in as a consultant for the Acquisitions Department. It was all very hush-hush, but Saizo had a feeling he knew exactly what Goemon would be doing for the Guild. Nothing like getting paid to steal for a living…

Naturally, Saizo was furious. Sasuke planned to leave and not tell him. He was the Divina's best friend, yet he had to hear about all this from a second-hand source. Well, technically a fourth-hand source, but that was beside the point. And to top off Sasuke's blatant disregard for Saizo's existence, the Divina had been spending his every waking moment at Goemon's side. Talk about insult to injury…

At the sound of someone approaching, Saizo ducked behind one of the huge leaves, waiting to see who walked by. Goemon crossed his view, carrying the mattress from Sasuke's bed in his massive arms. Saizo huffed quietly in frustration, almost missing Sasuke's small form as he followed closely behind the Phantom.

Saizo moved before he could think, snatching Sasuke into the hallway and dragging him towards the nearest empty room. The Divina fought in his arms, but Saizo kept his hand firmly over the daemon's mouth. He pushed the door open with his foot then tossed Sasuke into the room. Thankfully, he managed to shut the door before Sasuke started yelling.

"Who the… Saizo?! Jesus, what the fuck is your problem?!"

"You are!" He shouted, unleashing his rage all at once. "Not only are you avoiding me, but you decide to pack up and leave without saying a word!"

"You started avoiding me first!" Sasuke shot back, jumping to his feet. "I thought that's what you wanted!"

"Yeah, well… I had to… that's only because…" Saizo fumbled over his words, not sure what he was trying to say. "That's not the point! You know I need to talk to you, why else would I be following you around!"

"Following me? When?!"

"Please tell me you're joking!" Saizo exclaimed.

"Why would I joke about that? I haven't seen you since…" Sasuke paused as if rethinking his answer, then said, "since our fight on the stairs."

Saizo ran two hands through his hair, his frustration reaching its breaking point.

"Well maybe if you weren't spending every second of your life with that over-bearing Phantom, you would have noticed!"

"Christ, Saizo, just calm down and tell me what the hell you want! I need to get back and help Goemon."

"Calm down?! My best friend decided to move and not tell me! How the hell am I supposed to be calm?!"

Sasuke didn't reply. He just stared back at him in silent irritation. Saizo took a deep breath, trying to reorganize his thoughts. He'd been practicing this speech for days, but standing in front of Sasuke now, he was finding it hard to keep everything he was feeling under control.

"Look," Saizo began, "things are… weird between us right now, but I want you to know that I'm willing to move past this. It'll be awkward at first, but I think if we try hard enough, we can go back to the way things were."

Sasuke sighed, closing his eyes for several seconds before responding. "I'm afraid that's impossible." He said finally.

"But why?!"

"Because my feelings for you are more complicated than you realize."

"I know you like me." Saizo said in a rush, unable to meet the Divina's gaze. "I think I've known for a while, I just didn't want to believe it was true. But maybe if we get you some help, you can get over these… misplaced feelings of yours."

Sasuke frowned. "Misplaced feelings?"

"The ones you have for me. You're a guy Sasuke; you're not supposed to like other guys. It's not right." Sasuke took a step back as if the words had physically struck him. "But," Saizo continued, trying to soften his tone, "if we can find someone for you to talk to, then maybe you can work through all these irrational feelings you're having."

"You think there's something wrong with me?" Sasuke asked softly.

"Not necessarily wrong." Saizo argued. "I just think you might be confused."

"So what about Barbatos and Ikutachi?" Sasuke asked, his voice rising with his anger. "Rhongomiant as well? Are they confused, too?"

Saizo scrambled for an answer. "Well, yeah, I guess so."

"So we're all just crazy?"

"No, of course not!"

"Oh, then it's just me?!"

"I didn't say that! Why are we even talking about them, they have nothing to do with this!"

"I'm just trying to understand why it's okay for them to like guys and still be your friend, but not me!

"Because they aren't the ones with a crush on me!"

Sasuke laughed, but there was no humor in it. "You know what? Fuck you! I don't have to stand here and listen to your idiocy!" Sasuke shoved past Saizo towards the door.

"Why are you upset?!" Saizo asked, grabbing his arm to stop him. "I'm trying to make this right!"

"No, you're not!" Sasuke snatched his arm out of Saizo's grasp. "You're trying to make it go away! Jesus, Saizo, don't you get it?! I love you! I can't just turn it off!"

"But I…"

"You always do this!" Sasuke continued. "You put your needs before everyone else's! I mean, do you even hear how selfish you sound?!"

"I'm trying to save our friendship! How is that selfish?!"

"Yeah, sure you are!" Sasuke replied sarcastically. "As long as it's on your terms! So far as I can tell, I'm the only one who has to change in order for this 'friendship' to work!"

"Give me some credit here! I'm making a genuine effort to fix things between us, but you're not even trying to make it easy for me!"

"I always make it easy for you!" Sasuke shrieked. "I do everything you ask and give you everything you want! But the one time I need you to support me and accept me for who I am, you can't even do that! I don't need you to love me back, Saizo! I just need to know that no matter what, we'll still be friends!"

"I'm dealing with this the best way I know how, Sasuke, but you can't expect me to just be okay with everything that's happening right now!"

"I don't expect you to be okay with it, but I was hoping you'd at least hear me out! Maybe even try to understand what I'm feeling! You say you're my friend, but the minute you realized this was something else, you completely disowned me! And now you're saying the only way I can stay by your side is if I get help!"

Saizo was at a loss for words; all the anger and fight in him evaporating instantly. Sasuke was right. Saizo had been perfectly prepared to end their friendship, and over what? A stupid crush? Here he was, trying to fix something that wasn't even broken in the first place. Sasuke didn't expect for them to fall in love and be together forever. He just wanted Saizo to know the truth, and in spite of it, still be his friend.

"Nothing to say?" Sasuke asked bitterly. "Or are you trying to think of another reason why this is all my fault and none of yours?"

Saizo knew he needed to say something. Anything would be better than standing there like an idiot. Sasuke reached for the door knob at the same time Saizo reached to stop him.

_I'm sorry…_

_Don't leave…_

_Stay…_

All the words Saizo wanted to say, but found he couldn't. Not because he didn't want to, but because in that moment, his eyes flickered to a small dark bruise at the base of Sasuke's neck. Saizo knew exactly what the mark was, and in that moment, it felt like he'd been kicked square in the stomach.

"What's this?" He asked in a quiet voice, his fingers brushing the love mark above Sasuke's collar.

Sasuke swatted his hand away, his eyes flashing dangerously. "What do you think?" He snapped, trying to go for the exit again.

Saizo pressed his hand to the door, making it impossible for Sasuke to open it. He suddenly felt like he was moving in slow motion; watching himself from somewhere outside his body.

"Did Goemon give that to you? Did you two…" Saizo couldn't seem to finish the question, the tightness in his chest growing every second he didn't know the answer.

"Yes." Sasuke hissed, seeming to enjoy the way Saizo flinched when he said the word. "He wants me and I want him. He's determined to make me forget all about you, and you know what, Saizo? I'm going to let him." Sasuke shoved him away from the door, wrenching it open and storming out.

Saizo stood in the middle of the room, staring at the empty doorframe. Watching the Divina leave was torture, but knowing that he would never come back was even worse. Their friendship was over, and this time, there was no question of who was to blame.

**CHAPTER 10**

Saizo stood barefoot in the shallow river that separated Master Akasha's land from Master Fera's. It was considered neutral ground, but there were few humans or daemons willing to venture so far from either estate. Saizo and Sasuke used the river to cool off after sparring sessions since they often trained in the adjoining forest. It was one of their favorite spots.

Saizo found himself coming to the river more and more often these days. It was the only place he found any peace, but even then, it wasn't enough. Sasuke was gone, and every morning Saizo woke up with that horrifying fact waiting to greet him.

"Oi, Saizo!"

Saizo glanced lazily over his shoulder, sighing when he saw Barbatos. Not being in the mood to talk, he turned back to his thoughts, hoping the Phantom would get the picture and leave him be. He groaned inwardly when he heard the sounds of sloshing water behind him, signaling Barbatos' approach.

"You just going to pretend I'm not here?" Barbatos asked, skipping one of the stones he'd tucked into his pocket.

"If I did, would you go away?"

"Nope." Barbatos replied, offering him one of the stones.

Saizo snickered, taking the rock. "Didn't think so."

"We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Barbatos said. "But I know what it feels like to lose someone you care about, and I know that being alone right now is the last thing you need."

Saizo made no reply, twirling the flat stone in his hand and considering Barbatos' words. He wanted to be alone, but at the same time, knowing he had someone there to listen was comforting.

"I messed up." Saizo mumbled.

"Yes, you did." Barbatos replied. "I'm glad you realize that; saves me the trouble of having to break the news to you."

Saizo groaned. "Sasuke told you then?"

"Nope, Goemon did. By the way, I suggest you keep your distance from him. You're his least favorite daemon right now."

"The feeling is mutual." Saizo replied, launching the stone as far as he could.

They stood in silence for a few moments; Barbatos skipping stones, and Saizo staring vacantly at the setting sun. When Barbatos ran out of stones, he brushed his hands on his pants and looked over at Saizo.

"You really didn't know Sasuke was in love with you?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know." Saizo replied truthfully. "But when I think about it, I feel like I must have and just pretended not to notice."

"Sounds like something you'd do." Barbatos chuckled. "I've never known you to miss such a detail, or _any_ details for that matter, especially since it was so painfully obvious how he felt about you."

"You knew?" Saizo asked, his eyes narrowing on the Phantom.

"I think anyone with two eyes and a brain knew."

"God, I really am an idiot."

"Just remember, you said it not me."

Saizo sighed, turning back to the sunset. "I handled it all wrong, Barbatos, and even though I want to fix it, I don't know how."

"Have you tried apologizing?"

"We're way past the point of apologizing." Saizo replied. "And even if I did, what would it change?"

"I have no idea," Barbatos replied, "but neither will you unless you try. Have things changed between the two of you? _Yes_. Will they ever be the same again? _Doubtful_. But if you apologize, the two of you can move past this with a clear conscious and no hard feelings. You might not be friends when it's all said and done, but at least you won't be enemies."

"You make it sound so simple."

"That's because it is. You want to apologize, Saizo. And I'd bet money that Sasuke does, too. But _you_ need to be the one to take the first step forward, since you were the one who took the first step back."

"I'm not sure I can." Saizo replied. "I want to, but I don't think I could stand it if he doesn't forgive me."

"I get it." Barbatos said, placing his hand on Saizo's shoulder. "But you don't apologize for yourself. You apologize for the other person's sake."

Saizo rubbed his chest, trying to rid himself of the all too familiar pain festering there.

"I miss him. More than I've missed anything or anyone in my entire life. I find myself talking to him even though I know he's not there. It's stupid, but if I pretend he's still with me, then it doesn't hurt so much."

"You should go see him. I think it would be good for you, and it might help you figure out what you're feeling right now."

Saizo didn't respond, but in the back of his mind he asked the one question he would never ask aloud. If he did, then he would have to answer it. Something he was definitely not ready to do.

"Why don't we head back?" Barbatos suggested. "We can get a few of the guys together and go out for few drinks."

"I don't feel like it."

"Maybe not at the moment, but once we're out, I guarantee you'll be glad you came." Barbatos gently pulled Saizo back towards dry land. "Besides, you need to give your brain a rest. This will be good for you, I promise."

Saizo sighed. "If you say so, but if it's all the same to you, I think I'll pass on the drinking part. I haven't had much taste for alcohol these days."

**CHAPTER 11**

Saizo sat at the bar, nursing a tall glass of soda. Against his better judgment, he'd allowed Barbatos and the others to drag him out for a night on the town. Barbatos and Rhongomiant were having a lively game of pool, while Odairi tried to hook Bunchu up with every single female in the room.

Any other time, Saizo would be in the middle of the action; dancing, playing pool, and probably making a bet with Bunchu to see who could get the most girls. But all he could think about at the moment was the best way to sneak out of the bar without anyone noticing.

"Saizo? What in the world are you doing sitting over here? And alone for that matter?!"

MVS stared at him with a genuine look of shock and concern. A few responses flitted through Saizo's mind, like…

_I'm not alone anymore, why don't you climb on my lap and keep me company. _

Or…

_I was waiting for you, beautiful. In fact, I've been waiting for you all my life. _

He groaned mentally, wondering why women constantly fell for such ridiculous lines. Or even more to the point, why he insisted on using them. Either way, he found he didn't have the energy to flirt with the Anima.

"No reason." He replied. "I just felt like sitting down for a minute."

She frowned, sliding onto the barstool next to him. As usual, she was positively breath-taking. The little black dress she wore hugged all her slender curves, putting each and every inch of her incredible body on display. And her legs! Men would fight to the death for the opportunity to climb those lovely limbs.

"Whatcha drinking?" She asked sweetly. "I'll buy you another."

"Thanks, but it's just soda for me tonight."

She snorted. "Soda? Who are you and what have you done with Saizo?"

He laughed, finding her amused shock mildly comforting.

"Seriously, though." She continued, placing her hand on top of his. "Are you okay? I've never seen you so… quiet. It's kind of disturbing."

"I'm fine, I promise." He said the words as reassuringly as possible, hoping it would be enough to put an end to her questions.

"Then how about a dance?" She asked. "This is a really great song."

"It is." Saizo agreed. _It's one of Sasuke's favorites…_

He stopped himself from saying the last part of his thought, but it was too late, the damage was already done.

"So, do you want to dance?"

Her green eyes were so innocent and hopeful, Saizo felt guilty for saying no.

"I'm not really up for dancing. Maybe another time?"

"Yeah, sure." Though she continued to smile, he could see the light dim in her eyes.

"I think I'm going to call it night." He tossed the money for his drink on the bar then got to his feet. "I'll see you around." He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek, then made his way to the door.

"Saizo!" She called after him.

He turned just in time to see her wave a quick good bye to her friends then sashay her way towards him.

"I'll go with you." She said.

The invitation was clear, and it caught Saizo so off guard, that for several seconds he didn't know what to say.

"Actually." She smiled, taking his hand in hers. "Why don't we go back to my place? It's closer."

**CHAPTER 12 **

She was on him before the door even closed, unbuttoning his pants while he pulled off his shirt. She took the pins from her hair, long silvery-white locks falling haphazardly over her shoulders.

"Are you just going to stare at me?" She whispered, sliding her tiny hands up his stomach and over his chest. "Or are you going to touch me, too?"

He lifted her in his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and carrying her over to the bed. They collapsed in a tangle of limbs onto the soft mattress, lips still locked in an insatiable kiss. Saizo fumbled with the clasp of her dress, desperate to free her swollen breasts from the confines of the satiny fabric.

"Just rip it off." She whispered between kisses. "I need to feel you."

Saizo didn't hesitate, tearing the thin fabric right down the middle. Almost immediately he was struck by a wave of déjà vu.

"Saizo, hurry." She begged.

He dived back into her embrace, devouring every inch of her exposed flesh. Her legs opened for him, and when he slid his finger into the warmth of her core, he was pleased to find her soaking wet. She moaned sweetly at his touch, and although his body immediately responded to the sound, it wasn't MVS' voice he heard. It almost sounded like… Sasuke. Saizo reared back, checking to make sure it was the Anima still in his arms.

"Saizo." MVS whispered impatiently, reaching to pull him back down. "Don't stop."

He claimed her mouth once more, refocusing his thoughts on MVS. He let the passion build between them again, feeding off her soft cries of pleasure. She wanted him, that was clear, and considering how long he'd been trying to bed the female in his arms, Saizo was not about to pass up this opportunity.

"More, Saizo. Please!"

She reached between them and grabbed his cock. He hissed, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to let go. He practically jumped off the bed, putting as much distance between him and the Anima. He was quite literally freaking out, because although he knew it was MVS reaching out for him, it was Sasuke's face he saw.

"Saizo?"

The image in front of Saizo flickered from the Anima to the Divina and back again. He rubbed his eyes, desperately trying to regain control of his sanity. He opened his eyes, relieved to find MVS, and only MVS, staring back at him.

"What's happening, Saizo?! Are you alright?!" The Anima pressed one hand to Saizo's forehead, and the other to his chest. "Your heart feels like it's going to explode!" She looked up at him with worried eyes. "And I don't think it's because of me."

"I-I need to go." Saizo stammered, reaching for his pants. "I'm sorry, I just…"

"It's ok." She answered quickly, wrapping a blanket from the bed around her naked body. "You don't have to explain, but at least let me help you get back."

"No." Saizo said, zipping up his pants. "That's not necessary, I'm fine."

"You're not fine." She replied, picking up his shirt and handing it to him.

He tugged it on, then pulled her into his arms for a quick hug. "I'm sorry. This has nothing to do with you. You're perfect and beautiful, I just… can't."

"No, this is my fault." She replied guiltily. "I knew you were hurting, and I took advantage of that. It serves me right, huh?"

"H-how did you know?" He asked in confusion.

"I've been in love before." She answered solemnly. "And I know a broken heart when I see one. I never thought I'd see the day that anyone got the best of Saizo Kirigakure. She must be one hell of a woman."

"Yeah." He mumbled. "I should go."

"Of course." She said with a sad smile. "See you around."

Saizo bolted out the door and headed straight back to the bar. His mind was a complete mess; strange images and startling emotions boiling to the surface. He ran a hand down his mouth; the feel of Sasuke's lips on his so real, he swore he could still feel the heat of them.

He'd kissed the Divina before; Saizo knew that for a fact. There was no way he could picture something so vividly and not have actually done it! But when? Where? And why did he have no memory of it until now?!

Saizo definitely needed answers, but he wasn't sure how to go about getting them. He couldn't ask Sasuke. Not after their last encounter. He needed to apologize to the Divina, not find more ways to piss him off.

He briefly considered asking Goemon. If something had happened, then it was likely Sasuke had confided in the Phantom. Not surprisingly, Saizo immediately rejected the idea. It was highly unlikely he'd survive a confrontation with Goemon right now, and since he needed to be _alive_ to apologize to Sasuke, he decided it was best to leave the Phantom alone. For now…

No, Saizo needed another way to find out the truth; one that wouldn't hurt Sasuke or get him killed in the process. He was at a total loss, but as he mounted his motorcycle to head back to the mansion, an idea finally struck him. He knew a daemon who dealt in the truth, and if she was willing to help, he just might get the answers he was looking for.

**CHAPTER 13**

Sasuke watched Goemon get undressed from his position by the door. Though they'd been living together for the past month, they'd yet to sleep in the same bed. Sasuke hadn't minded at first. Their relationship was still new, and they needed time to get to know each other beyond the confines of their friendship.

Thus far, Sasuke had enjoyed the process. He and the Phantom had a great deal in common, and for the first time, in a long time, Sasuke felt what it was like to be appreciated. To have someone who spent time doing the things he liked, not because they _had_ to, but because they _wanted_ to.

They'd just returned from a convention a few cities over. Goemon had no interest in such things, but the fact that Sasuke loved it was enough for him. He had gladly followed Sasuke around all day, making a genuine effort to be as much a part of the experience as possible. There were no words to express how much this simple gesture had touched Sasuke's heart, so he decided to thank the Phantom using another way…

"Goemon?" Sasuke said, knocking once on the open door.

The Phantom was just about to remove his pants, but stopped at the sound of Sasuke's voice.

"Hey." He replied, reaching to put back on his shirt. "Man, I must be tired. I didn't even hear you come in. What's up? Is something wrong?"

"No." Sasuke replied, closing the door behind him. "I just wanted to thank you for today."

Goemon smiled warmly. "You don't have to do that. I had a great time. "

"I know, but it really meant a lot to me. I kept trying to figure out a way to show you just how much, but I couldn't think of anything until now."

"You don't have to do anything for me, Sasuke."

"But I want you." Sasuke blurted out, his cheeks heating instantly. "I-I want to give myself to you."

The Phantom froze, staring at Sasuke with an unreadable expression. He stared for so long it started to make Sasuke nervous.

"D-do you not want me?" Sasuke asked, shrinking back against the door.

"No!" Goemon said quickly. "I mean, yes! Of course I want you. But this has nothing to do with that. I've taken advantage of you enough, and I swore to myself that I wouldn't do it again."

Sasuke frowned. "What are you talking about? You've never taken advantage of me."

Goemon sat on the edge of his bed, running a hand through his raven hair.

"I've done nothing _but_ take advantage of you. With our kiss, my confession, bringing you here."

"That's not true!" Sasuke exclaimed. "I _let_ you kiss me, I'm _glad_ you confessed, and I _chose_ to come here with you!"

"Yes, but if things were different between you and Saizo, do you think you would have made those same decisions?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to say yes, but he knew it would be a lie, so instead of answering, he stared back at Goemon with apologetic eyes.

"Everything you've done until now has been to forget about Saizo in one way or another." Goemon continued. "I'm not angry about it. In fact, I've been trying my best to encourage it. But what you're asking me now, I can't do. At least not until you're ready."

"But I am ready!" Sasuke insisted, walking over to where Goemon sat. "I want to be with you!"

"Do you love me?" Goemon asked.

"I… Well…" Sasuke paused, the gravity of the question rocking him to the core. "You can't ask me something like that so soon!"

"Why not? We've known each other for quite some time, Sasuke. Far longer than we've been living together. You know the kind of man I am, and what I'm ready to offer you. Is such a question really so absurd?"

"No, I just…" Sasuke's words trailed off, and he finally understood what Goemon was trying to convey.

Goemon took Sasuke's hand in his. "When we make love for the first time, I want it to be because you love me. I want to know that you're with me because you want to be, not because you're trying to escape from someone else."

"I'm sorry, Goemon. This is all so unfair to you."

"There's no need to apologize." He replied firmly. "I chose this willing, and for now, being by your side is enough. All the rest will come with time." He stood, ruffling Sasuke's hair playfully. "I'm going to take a shower. Feel like grabbing some dinner after?"

Sasuke smiled, nodding shyly.

"Alright, why don't you grab a shower, too, and then come get me when you're ready."

"Okay." Sasuke started back to his side of the house, but stopped when he reached the door. "Goemon?"

"Uhmm?"

"Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight? No sex or anything, just sleep. I don't really feel like being alone."

If the Phantom was caught off guard, he didn't show it. He just smiled and said, "Of course."

**CHAPTER 14**

It was the next morning and Saizo was up early; earlier than he'd ever been in his entire life. To be honest, he hadn't slept a wink. How could he with last night's events on replay in his mind? Being with MVS had unlocked something inside him, and he was determined to find out what it was.

It was for this reason Saizo had woken up early and ridden into town. He'd parked nearly a mile from his intended destination, having to cross several streets and alley ways to get there, but it was worth the effort. Most people knew what his motorcycle looked like, and if someone recognized him, he'd be forced to explain why he was there. Definitely something he was trying to avoid.

Saizo glanced around. There were no cars passing by, and the only sign of life was at the flower shop next door. A little old lady was hobbling around the outside displays, spraying water on the various exotic plants and flowers. Pulling the hood of his jacket lower on his head, he made a beeline straight for the door of the small, out of the way shop he'd come so far to visit. He barreled through the door, closing it sharply behind him.

Entering the shop was like walking into a world comprised solely of glass. The walls were covered with antique mirrors of all shapes and sizes, and the shelves were lined with tiny glass figurines. The owner of this particular store dealt in all manner of glasswork, and most of the items on display were her own handmade creations. She also specialized in importing and exporting certain antiques for auctions and private collectors.

Saizo had never paid such delicate trinkets any mind. These were the kind of things females liked, and therefore had no place in his world. Still, not even he could deny the remarkable craftsmanship of each item. He reached out to touch a small glass hummingbird so realistic, he was sure the creature would take flight at any moment.

"Can I help you?" A feminine voice called.

Saizo snatched his hand back, looking over at the petite daemon behind the counter.

"Saizo," she asked, "is that you?"

He removed his hood as he walked towards her. "The one and only," he answered, trying to sound confident.

"What on earth brings you to my shop?"

Cloud Mirror was one of the few daemons who'd chosen a life completely free from the service of a ghost agent. After being sold by her last master, she'd opened a shop on the north side of town. Though she'd only been in business for a few years, she'd made quite the name for herself.

"I need your help with something." He said, trying not to sound too eager.

She gave him an incredulous look, but was kind enough not to laugh outright. "Are you looking for a gift or something for yourself?"

Saizo snorted. "None of the above."

"I didn't think so." She giggled. "You've never really struck me as the gift-giving type. I'm not sure what else I could possibly help you with, but I'll be happy to try."

There was no point in beating around the bush. The Anima would either help him or she wouldn't.

"I need to look into your mirror."

"No." She said, immediately turning away from him.

"Please, Cloud. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

"I'm out of that business, Saizo." She replied shortly, grabbing a box from the counter and walking it over to one of the empty shelves.

Saizo took the box out of her hands, setting it on the floor then taking out his knife to cut it open.

"Look, I'll do whatever you want." He said, looking up at her. "All I'm asking for is 5 minutes. I just need to see one thing, and then I swear I'll be out of your hair."

She sighed heavily. "It doesn't work like that, Saizo. You don't get to pick and choose what you see. The mirror cares nothing about your wants or desires. It will only show you the truth; unbiased and unfiltered. Believe me, not even you're ready for that."

He swallowed, the stench of foreboding rolling off the tiny Anima in waves. It forced Saizo to rethink his plan, but in the end, he couldn't see how knowing the truth could be a bad thing. At least not when it really mattered.

"I can handle it, Cloud."

"You say that now." She said, carefully taking a bubble-wrapped package from the box. "They all say that. No one has ever looked into my mirror and _not_ regretted it; you will be no different. There are things about yourself that you do not want to know. And once the truth has been revealed, there is no unrevealing it."

"I'm willing to take the risk." Saizo said firmly, rising to his feet. "Please, Cloud. I need your help."

She unwrapped a small glass box, decorated with ornate filigree. It looked like a child's jewelry box, and engraved on the top were the words,

_Love is Truth and Truth is Pain._

_In the eyes of God, they are all the same._

Cloud Mirror held it reverently in her delicate hands, examining each and every detail of its surface.

"It's beautiful." Saizo said, understanding that this item held great meaning to the Anima.

"This," she replied, "belonged to Isadora Hale. She was a noblewoman who lived in the 16th century, and also considered to be one of the most powerful witches of all time. When she was eighteen years old, she fell in love with a clergyman, newly assigned to the village parish. They married, as couples in love do, and settled into a comfortable life together. She loved her husband, and respected his devotion to God, but she followed another path. One she realized she couldn't hide."

"She told him she was a witch." Saizo deduced. "I'm assuming that didn't go over well."

"You assumed correctly. When he learned of Isadora's true nature, he spurned her love and turned his back on everything they'd built together. And not only did he betray her to the church, but he personally led the hunt to find and execute her. She managed to escape his wrath, but not the pain of her broken heart."

"That's horrible."

"It was," Cloud agreed, "which is why she created this. According to legend, she found a way to trap her emotions inside this box, freeing herself from the pain and regret of love lost."

"Did it work?" He asked.

"I don't know." She replied, gingerly setting it on the shelf. "But I'd do anything to find out." She rolled up the plastic wrap and shoved it back into the box. "I'll help you Saizo." She continued. "But you must being willing to accept whatever comes. There will be no stopping once the process begins, and whatever you face, you will do so alone."

Saizo didn't hesitate. "I'm ready."

"Then follow me."

You can never know yourself. Not truly. And having looked into the cloud mirror, Saizo knew this to be absolutely true. He had found the truth he was searching for, and though he didn't necessarily regret seeing it, when it was all said and done, he knew his life had changed forever.

"Are you alright?" Cloud Mirror asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He was lying, but he had a feeling she already knew that. He wasn't sure whether or not she too had seen the images reflected in the surface of the glass, but there was a sadness in her eyes that spoke of understanding.

They exchanged no further words, but when he nodded goodbye, she smiled as if she knew she would never see him again.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 15**

Saizo stood outside the small house Goemon had been given by the Guild. The lights were on and the sound of the television was coming through one of the open windows. The way the shadows wrapped around every corner of the house gave the place an ominous feeling; a feeling that matched the darkness swirling in the pit of Saizo's belly.

He'd been standing in the same spot for nearly 4 hours, silently contemplating his "moment of truth" at Cloud Mirror's shop. His eyes had been opened in one of the most brutal ways possible; his every action, thought and secret desire torn from his very soul, and laid out in a morbid display of shameful truths and detestable realities. He'd looked into the face of his true nature and he was ashamed.

But amongst the darkness, buried in depths of his tangled heart, there was a light; pure and innocent. The light was hope and beauty; understanding and love. The light represented everything good inside of Saizo, and if he didn't get it back, there was a chance he'd be lost forever…

Saizo had parked his motorcycle a few blocks down, and had taken up a spot against the tall fence surrounding Goemon's back yard. He had to jump the bloody thing to get into the enclosure, but after consideration, he'd decided approaching from the front would be a bad idea. Saizo's visit would likely end in a confrontation, and the less nosy neighbors watching, the better.

The Guild had spared no expense for the Phantom's accommodations; evidence being the beautifully crafted deck that wrapped around the entire house, and gave the viewer an exquisite view of the scenery from virtually every angle. A set of sturdy steps led to the red painted back door, and just off to the left was a comfortable looking sitting area that overlooked a small yet elaborate garden. Saizo pictured Sasuke and Goemon sitting there, curled up together while they watched the sunset, or some other ridiculous thing like that. The thought made Saizo bristle with anger, while at the same time giving him a surge of confidence.

He pushed off the fence and marched towards the door, but the moment he reached the first step, he stopped and turned around again. This was a pattern he'd repeated several times already, and would likely repeat several more. Saizo cursed under his breath, shoving his hands in his pockets as he made his way back to his lonely spot on the fence.

Why was this so bloody hard?! He knew the truth of his feelings now. He knew what he needed to do; what we wanted to say! He punched the fence with his fist, huffing in frustration. He knew exactly why this was so hard. He was afraid of rejection. He didn't deserve Sasuke, likely never would, and after their last fight, it was highly unlikely the Divina would be willing to listen to anything he had to say.

"Why are you here, Saizo?"

He spun around to meet Goemon's stony gaze. The Phantom stood in front of the porch light, causing his face to be obscured by the shadows. His massive arms were crossed over his chest, and though the daemon appeared calm, Saizo could hear the warning in his tone.

"I came to see Sasuke." Saizo answered, trying to keep his voice level.

Saizo wasn't interested in starting a fight with the Phantom. He could probably take the daemon if push came to shove, but he'd be left bloodied and bruised by the end of it, and certainly in no condition to talk to Sasuke.

"That's a bad idea." Goemon replied. "He's made progress these past few weeks, and seeing you will undo all of it."

"I'm not here to cause any trouble. I just need to tell him something."

"You can tell me whatever it is and I'll pass him the message. You have my word."

"What I have to say is for Sasuke's ears only. Now if you don't mind, Phantom, I'd appreciate it if you'd go and get him."

"You're a fool if you think I'm going to let you see him." Goemon replied. "You've caused enough damage already, and I'll not stand by and let you destroy what's left of him. If you truly want what's best for Sasuke, then you'll leave now and never come back."

"I'm not leaving." Saizo said firmly. "And nothing you say or do will make me. You're not his keeper, Goemon. You don't decide who gets to be in his life any more than I do. I made a mistake. Several actually… but I can admit that now. All I want is a chance to make things right with him."

"Sasuke doesn't know what he wants right now." Goemon answered, taking a step towards Saizo. "He's vulnerable, and this poor attempt to alleviate your guilt is only going to confuse him more. Try all you want, Divina, but I will not let you take away his chance at happiness just because you've suddenly grown a conscious."

Saizo clenched his fists in shame and anger. "This has nothing to do with _me_ and _my_ guilt! I'm here because Sasuke deserves to known the truth!"

"And what truth is that?"

"That I love him!"

Saizo stumbled back from the force of his own words; the ground seeming to tilt violently beneath his feet. The silent revelation of his true feelings had been terrifying enough, but to hear the words aloud…

"You son of a bitch!" Goemon hissed. "Is this your idea of a sick joke?! Get out of here right now before I gut you like the pig you are!"

"What's going on, Goemon?"

Saizo's head shot up, his gaze falling on the small shadow peaking from behind the Phantom's massive frame.

"Sorry, did we wake you?" Goemon's tone was suddenly soft and comforting, and it made Saizo want to throat punch him.

"I thought I heard Saizo's voice." Sasuke replied. "I didn't it believe, so I came to see for myself."

"He was just leaving." Goemon said, trying to lead Sasuke back up the stairs.

"No, I'm not!" Saizo shouted. "I came to speak to Sasuke!"

"And I told you to leave him be!"

Sasuke placed a hand on the Phantom's arm. "It's alright, Goemon. Go inside. I'll be there in a minute."

"But…"

"I'll be fine, I promise."

Goemon sighed in frustrated defeat, his body tense as if he wanted nothing more than to pick up the Divina and carry him back into the house.

"Please." Sasuke repeated, his eyes flickering to where Saizo stood. "Go inside."

"Alright," Goemon whispered, placing a kiss on Sasuke's forehead. "But call me if you need anything, ok?"

"I will."

The Phantom disappeared into the house, closing the door quietly behind him. Sasuke walked towards Saizo, his stride confident and reassured. The Divina had changed during their time apart, Saizo could see it in his eyes; hear it in his voice.

"What did you want to talk about, Saizo?" Sasuke asked coolly.

Saizo let out a shaky breath as the sound of the Divina's voice ran over and through him. He'd missed the sound; missed the way Sasuke's lips puckered ever so slightly when he said the last part of his name. Why hadn't he noticed such things before? How could he have missed such beauty when it shown through every breath and movement Sasuke made?

"Did you come all this way to stare at me?" Sasuke asked, shifting nervously on his feet.

Saizo cleared his throat, trying to refocus the thoughts that seemed to scatter every time his gaze fell upon Sasuke's slightly parted lips. He remembered those lips with frightening clarity, and although his mind was screaming for him to focus, he could feel his body responding to the thought of tasting them once more.

"I-I'm sorry." Saizo said quickly, recalling the words he'd been practicing for hours. "I-I came here to apologize. I said a lot of things to you that were stupid and immature. I was wrong. I see that now, but at the time there was so much I didn't understand about you or myself. If I'd have known then what I know now, perhaps… perhaps we'd still be friends. I never meant to hurt you, Sasuke, please believe me. I know it might be a lot to ask for right now, but I hope, given time, you'll be able to forgive me."

"I forgive you." Sasuke answered without hesitation.

Saizo was prepared to beg; even took the time to rehearse it. To him, there was no shame in the act. If it was a choice between his pride and Sasuke; he'd choose the latter without a second thought. Still, he'd never expected Sasuke to be so… cooperative.

"I know the kind of daemon you are." Sasuke continued, seemingly amused by Saizo's confusion. "Looking back on things, I realize I should have handled all this differently. I should've told you about my feelings rather than letting you find out the way you did. I'm not sure if things would have turned out better or worse, but at least we could've faced each other properly. For that, I'm sorry, too."

Saizo was speechless for a moment, searching his brain for a response. He hadn't planned for this scenario, and he was having difficulty finding the right words to say. Not only had he received Sasuke's forgiveness, but he'd been offered an apology as well. Saizo had thought it impossible to feel anymore ashamed than he already did. Clearly he was wrong.

"Don't apologize, Sasuke." Saizo said in a pained voice. "You've done nothing to be sorry for. It was my stubbornness and ignorance that ruined things between us. Your forgiveness is more than I expected or deserve, and I want you to know that will never take you or our friendship for granted again."

Sasuke smiled; the unguarded expression making Saizo's heart clench. "Then it's settled. We'll speak no more of this and depart here as friends." He bowed. "Thank you, Saizo. This is exactly what I needed. I would never be able to move on if things stayed unresolved between us."

"Move on?" Saizo reached for Sasuke's arm, pulling him away from the steps. "What do you mean by that?"

Sasuke frowned, pulling his arm from Saizo's grasp. "I should think that was obvious."

"You mean to stay here?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Because…"

Sasuke stared at Saizo, waiting for him to finish his sentence. When he said nothing else, Sasuke shoved his shoulder playfully.

"We're friends, Saizo. We always will be. But I've started something here with Goemon, and even though I'm not entirely sure what it is yet, I feel like I can finally give my all to him."

_No, no, no, no, NO! This wasn't how this was supposed to end! _

"But I want you to come back." Saizo insisted.

"Don't worry," Sasuke chuckled. "Now that things are okay between us, I'll come by and see you. I'll even drag Goemon to poker night again. It might not be like old times, but it'll be a start, right?"

"Uh, yeah, right." Saizo tried to smile, but he couldn't seem to get his mouth to cooperate.

"Well, I should go in before Goemon comes back out here. And don't worry; once I explain that we've settled things between us, I'm sure he'll come around."

"O-okay."

"Good night."

Sasuke turned and jogged up the steps, the wood creaking loudly underneath his slight weight. The sound snapped Saizo out of his daze.

"I love you!" The words were out of Saizo's mouth before he could stop them.

It wasn't exactly how Saizo planned on confessing, but considering the current situation, it was probably best to get it all out in the open. Sasuke stopped mid-stride, his back still to Saizo.

"What did you just say?" Sasuke asked; his voice barely above a whisper.

Saizo ran a hand through his hair, his frustration starting to get the best of him. He reached out for the handrail, taking a few deep breaths before squaring his shoulders and continuing.

"Sasuke, I need you to turn around and look at me."

When he didn't move, Saizo climbed one of the steps. "Please, Sasuke."

The Divina turned around slowly then, the soft glow of the porch light illuminating his pale face. His expression was unreadable, and his hands were clenched tightly at his sides.

"Is this a joke?" Sasuke asked. "Because if it is, it's not funny."

"I'm not joking. Why does everyone think that?!"

"Because that's what you do!" Sasuke retorted. "You make light of everything no matter how hurtful your words might be. I thought you came here to make peace, not find another way to humiliate me!"

Sasuke turned towards the door again, but Saizo lunged up the remaining steps to stop him. He grabbed Sasuke, jerking him back, and kicking the door shut with his foot. Spinning Sasuke around in his arms, he pressed the Divina against the door, making it impossible for him to run. Saizo didn't think, nor did he give Sasuke a chance to. He crushed their lips together, wrapping an arm around Sasuke's waist and pulling him tightly against his body. The kiss was frenzied and passionate; full of all the things Saizo wanted to say, but couldn't.

Sasuke's cries of rage turned into moans of pleasure as their bodies melted into one. Saizo could feel the trembling daemon relax in his arms, and he took advantage of the Divina's weakened defenses. Deepening the kiss, he slipped his tongue into the heat of Sasuke's mouth, sampling the delicate sweetness he was so desperate to consume. When Saizo finally broke the kiss, they were both gasping for air; desperately clinging to one another for support.

"I'm not joking." Saizo breathed, brushing a thumb tenderly across Sasuke's bottom lip. "I love you."

"Don't do this." Sasuke begged. "Please." He pressed his palms to Saizo's chest, pushing him away. "You must be drunk again."

"I'm not drunk!" Saizo insisted, grabbing hold of the Divina's shoulders. "Look at me, Sasuke! I'm completely sober right now, I swear! If I wasn't, you would've tasted the alcohol! Kiss me again if you don't believe me!"

Saizo leaned in for another kiss, not just because he wanted to prove his lack of intoxication, but because he craved the feel of the Divina's lips against his once more.

Sasuke shoved Saizo away again, his eyes like those of a cornered cat. "Don't touch me!"

"Sasuke, please, you have to believe me!"

Sasuke looked ready to bolt at any second, and Saizo was desperate to keep the Divina with him as long as possible.

_It was now or never…_

"I'm the worst kind of person." Saizo said hurriedly. "Selfish and careless. I've always thought of myself as being without fault, going through life without any sense of accountability for my actions. I lie when it suits me, gamble like I can't lose, and cheat when I know I can't win. I go through women like Shuten goes through parfaits, and all for a few fleeting moments of pleasure." He ran a hand down his mouth, willing himself to go on. "And the drinking… If you had told me a month ago that I had a problem, I would've called you a liar. But now… after what I did to you that night... I swear I'll never touch another drop of alcohol again."

Sasuke groaned softly, bracing himself against the door for support. "Y-you remember?" He asked in muted horror.

"I do, and I'm so sorry, Sasuke. It should have never happened. To treat you like that… It's unforgiveable!" Saizo ran both hands through his hair in frustration. He was desperate to prove to Sasuke that he'd changed, but there was only some much he could explain with words. "I'm always _doing_; never _thinking_," He continued, "but all that has changed now. I can be better, Sasuke. I can be the man you want me to be!"

"I think you should leave."

"Please, don't send me away." Saizo reached out to take Sasuke's hand in his, pressing the Divina's knuckles to his lips. "All my life I've lived like nothing matters; like I don't need anything or anyone. Until I met you… You're the one constant in my life. The one person who sees my flaws and loves me in spite of them. I love you, Sasuke. All I'm asking for is a chance to prove it."

"You need to let go of me, Saizo."

"I can't do that. I won't!" Saizo took Sasuke's other hand, squeezing them both reassuringly. "Whatever you want; whatever you need, tell me and I'll do it. There is nothing I won't do to prove my devotion to you. Let me show that there is nothing to be afraid of. My love is real. It will never die and it will never fade."

Sasuke yanked his hands away, side-stepping out of Saizo's reach.

"I think you're confused." Sasuke said; his voice shockingly calm. "Just a few weeks ago, the thought of two men being together disgusted you. Now you're confessing your undying love for me? I'm not sure what happened between then and now, but there's no possible way you understand the gravity of what you're saying."

"You're wrong!" Saizo exclaimed. "Believe me, I understand in more ways than I ever knew were possible. There isn't a doubt in my mind that I'm ready to be what you need."

"And what is it that I need, Saizo? Tell me."

Saizo paused, considering the question. He knew what he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure if it was the answer Sasuke was looking for. He had a feeling if there was ever a time to get an answer right, it was now. Unfortunately, Sasuke misunderstood his hesitation.

"You see what I mean?" Sasuke sighed heavily. "I have a shot at something _real_ with Goemon, and you want me to give it all up based on a _promise_? You've given me a lifetime of broken promises, Saizo. I don't need anymore."

"So you won't even give me a chance?" Saizo begged. "After all we've been through together?"

"I am giving you a chance; a chance to be my _friend._ And it's because of all we've been through together that I'm able to do that much."

"But I want more." Saizo said in a hushed voice. "I want to be with you in the way that you want to be with me."

"That's the thing, I don't think you do. Theory is much different than practice, Saizo. You're emotional right now, but once you've had time to calm down and think about what you're saying, you'll realize this isn't what you want."

"How would you know what I want?!" Saizo cried.

"Because I know you! Better than you know yourself!" Sasuke closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. "You need to leave, Saizo. Before Goemon comes out here and _makes_ you."

The words hung between them as thick and solid as a brick wall. It was too late. There was nothing Saizo could say now that would change the damage already done. He'd lost, and it was time to admit it.

"I hope he makes you happy." Saizo said finally, his voice breaking. "You deserve that and more."

"W-we can still be friends." Sasuke replied weakly. "Maybe in time we can…"

Saizo chuckled humorlessly. "You sound like me now."

Sasuke sighed, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "This hurts me, too. I need you to know that."

"Yeah, I know." Saizo answered solemnly, gently brushing the Divina's cheek. "Good bye, Sasuke."

"Good bye, Saizo."

**CHAPTER 16**

Sasuke closed the door, clicking the lock in place. He was on the verge of an emotional breakdown; his heart and mind locked in a ferocious battle of wills. His heart wanted to go with Saizo; throw caution to the wind, consequences be damned. But his mind… it told him to not only stay away, but to run like hell in the opposite direction. No good could come of a relationship with Saizo, no matter how convincing the Divina appeared. After all, why risk almost certain heart break with Saizo, when he had the chance at lasting love with Goemon?

_Damn him!_ He screamed mentally.

Sasuke had spent weeks dealing with his feelings for Saizo; chipping away at his love for the Divina and burying the pieces one by one in the depths of his heart. He'd even managed to forgive Saizo in his own quiet way, and in the process, find some measure of closure. It had been the first step to building a new life with Goemon, but now… Every single defense Sasuke had worked so hard to build now lay in a smoking heap of ash and rubble at his feet. All because of three simple words from Saizo's mouth…

_I love you. _

"Are you okay?" Goemon asked, stepping into view.

"Yeah," Sasuke replied, forcing a smile. "Saizo just left."

"I saw."

Sasuke nodded, unable to meet Goemon's eyes for longer than a few seconds. Not only had Sasuke been struggling with his feelings for Saizo, but he'd also been dealing with his guilt over the Phantom. He'd been holding onto Goemon for dear life, while at the same time, constantly pushing him away. The daemon didn't deserve to be treated so callously, but never once had Goemon complained. He was always so understanding; always so forgiving, and Sasuke adored him for it.

_"You adore him," _His heart whispered._ "But can you ever love him?" _

"I didn't eavesdrop." Goemon said firmly, his normally steady voice wavering ever so slightly. "I wanted to, God help me, but I didn't."

"Thank you for that. I know how difficult this must be for you, but there were… things Saizo and I needed to discuss. Just the two of us."

"I understand." Goemon replied, taking a step towards him.

Sasuke flinched unintentionally, shirking back from Goemon's approach. He didn't mean to, but right at that moment, he didn't feel like being touched or held.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Goemon asked, sensing Sasuke's hesitation.

"No, I just…" Sasuke tried think of a way to explain what he was feeling, but such pain couldn't be put into words. "I'm sorry, but I really need to be alone right now. It's not you, I just need time to… process."

"Take all the time you need." Goemon replied.

It wasn't until he heard Goemon's bedroom door close that Sasuke let the full force of his heart ache wash over him. He staggered to his own room, leaning against the wall for support. He suddenly felt heavy, like the weight of the world had been set upon his shoulders. He crawled onto his bed, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping the edge of the blanket around himself.

Tonight, Sasuke would mourn his loss. He would take it all in; the pain and happiness, the joy and regret, and when his poor heart could take no more, he would simply let it all go. He still loved Saizo, and part of him believed that Saizo did indeed love him back, but Sasuke knew better than to give into the Divina's whimsical desires.

There was more to a relationship than love and passion, and someone as wild and carefree as Saizo would never understand that. It would take patience and work; time and effort, and after years spent at Saizo's side, Sasuke knew the Divina would never be able to commit to such a feat. So Sasuke made a choice, and though he knew it was the right one, it didn't change the fact that it hurt like hell.

Come sunrise, Sasuke would purge the memory of Saizo from his heart and mind. He would greet the morning, prepared to start a new chapter of his life with Goemon. But for now, in the stillness of the night, he would reminisce on the promise of love unfilled. For in order to forget, you have to remember…

**CHAPTER 17**

**_6 months later…_**

Saizo was up early; a come occurrence these days. He was about a half mile away from the mansion, returning from his morning run. He'd taken up the practice as a way to get his mind off recent events, discovering that the simple act gave him a sense of control when everything else was falling apart around him. At first, his running symbolized the need to get away from his problems, but, as time passed, Saizo realized he was actually running towards and new and improved him.

The sun was finally coming up over the horizon; its warmth and light enveloping Saizo with a sense of stability and purpose. After losing Sasuke, Saizo had fallen into a dark and dangerous place, but right when he was on the verge of losing himself completely, he was saved. Barbatos and Ikutachi, Rhongomiant and Bunchu, even the fickle Odairi; they'd all come together and pulled Saizo out of his self-made pit of despair. It was still hard at times, but when things started to overwhelm him again, Saizo would remember the words Barbatos had said to him.

_"If the sun can manage to get its lazy ass up every morning, so can you!" _

It had been nothing more than a poor attempt at humor on the Phantom's part, but it had resonated with Saizo on a much deeper level. So every morning since that day, just before the sun awoke from its slumber, Saizo roused himself from bed. He needed to be there when the golden sphere peaked lazily over the horizon, for it was proof that he would be able to survive yet another day.

_And survive he had... _

For almost 7 months, Saizo had been sober. Not only that, but he hadn't gambled once, and by proxy, hadn't cheated either. He was happily single, and though he had numerous offers from potential lovers, he decided that sex was no longer something he wished to have with just anyone. For the first time in his life, Saizo was content being alone; strangely relieved that he no longer needed to be the center of everyone's attention. He was, in effect, a new daemon, and he was all the happier for it.

Saizo increased his pace when the mansion finally came into view. The familiar ache of fatigue spread through his body, but he kept his mind focused on the steady rhythm of his breathing.

_In…_

_Out…_

_In…_

_Out… _

Saizo was at full speed by the time he hit his mark, slowing to a light jog before stopping to cool down and stretch. He was on his way inside when he caught sight of a moving truck parked at the main gate. There'd been no rumors of a new daemon coming to the mansion, and though he was curious to see who the new arrival was, he decided it would have to wait until after his shower.

Saizo washed himself quickly, taking a few moments to straighten his room before heading downstairs for breakfast. His hair was still wet, and his skin still moist from the heat of his shower, so he threw a small towel over his shoulder on the way out the door.

"Morning, Saizo!" Mira said brightly.

The Anima greeted him while she loaded a tray with coffee and a variety of breakfast options; likely on her way to the Master's office.

"Good morning, Mira." He replied. "Mind if I grab the rest of that coffee?"

"Sure, I don't think Master will have a second cup this morning. If so, I'll just brew another pot."

"Thanks."

Saizo grabbed his favorite cup from the cabinet, pouring the remainder of the steaming dark liquid into the mug.

"You look well." Mira continued absently. "I see the running is helping."

"It is." He replied, walking towards the window to take in the view. "I feel… clearer."

"You look good, too." She giggled. "As a matter of fact, a few of the female daemons wake up early just to watch you stretch before and after your run."

Saizo chuckled shyly. "Really? I never noticed."

"No, I don't suppose you would these days." Mira picked up the tray and turned to him. "I'm proud of you." She said. "So is Master. You've come a long way in a short time. I'm not sure what happened, but I'm glad you came out stronger in the end."

"Thanks, Mira. I needed to hear that."

"No problem." She answered cheerily. "Remember, we're here for you if you need us."

"I know. Thanks again."

Saizo turned back to the window as she made her way out the door.

"By the way," Mira called over her shoulder. "If you see Sasuke before I do, tell him I said welcome back."

**CHAPTER 18 **

Sasuke dropped the last box onto the floor of his old room. Besides his bed and the larger pieces of furniture, all of his things fit neatly inside twelve boxes. He sighed heavily, dropping onto the edge of his unmade bed, and wondering why he hadn't had the wherewithal to pick up a bottle of vodka on the way back. He didn't drink, but if there was ever a moment in his life when he needed one, it was right then.

Sasuke looked slowly around the room. It felt like years since he'd been there, and although his homecoming was filled with fear and anxiety, he was relieved to find that the familiar surroundings helped ease his troubled heart. After his awful, ill-timed and poorly executed goodbye with Goemon, Sasuke needed all the comfort he could get.

"Alright," he said to the empty room. "No more feeling sorry for yourself. You can do this."

"Do what?"

Sasuke's head snapped towards the door, his heart fluttering uncontrollably. Saizo stood just inside the doorway, his intense gaze locked on Sasuke.

"Nothing," Sasuke laughed nervously. "Just psyching myself up to unpack."

"Need some help?"

"N-no, I got it. I don't have much stuff, so it won't take long."

Saizo took a cautious step into the room. "You came back." He said softly.

It wasn't a question, but the words were spoken with a quiet desperation that could only be eased with answers. Sasuke hadn't told anyone except their Master that he was returning. He'd convinced himself that there wasn't enough time to tell anyone else, but staring at Saizo now, the truth of his cowardice was laid before him.

"Yeah, things didn't work out with Goemon and I."

"Are you okay?" Saizo asked, taking yet another step forward.

"Umm, I guess. I haven't really had time to think about it. Everything ended so fast."

"What happened? No, wait," Saizo said quickly, holding up his hands to stop Sasuke's response. "Don't tell me. It's none of my business. I'm sorry for asking something so personal."

Sasuke blinked in shock at Saizo's sudden and unprovoked apology.

"Uh, no, it's fine." Sasuke continued. "It's not a secret or anything. He and I just… wanted different things."

"Did he come back, too?"

"No, the Guild sent him on a yearlong mission in South Africa. I was supposed to go with him, but…"

"You don't have to say anymore." Saizo said, cutting him off. "I don't want you to relive something that clearly causes you pain."

Sasuke's brow furrowed in utter confusion. "Who are you, and what have you done with Saizo?"

The Divina gave a throaty chuckle that sent a shiver from the top of Sasuke's head to the tips of his toes.

"I get that question a lot nowadays. It's still me, just… different. Here, let me help you unpack."

Saizo walked to the nearest box, taking out the knife he always kept with him, and cutting it open.

"You really don't have to." Sasuke insisted.

"I know, but I want to. Should we set it up the way it used to be, or do you want to try something different?"

"Umm, I'm not sure." Sasuke answered shyly. "But I kind of like the idea of something different."

Saizo smiled; the expression so wonderfully reassuring that Sasuke couldn't help but smile back. Whatever was happening between them in this quiet moment was more than Sasuke could have ever hoped for. There was no judgment or anger; no resentment or hurt feelings. It was just the two of them; imperfectly perfect and uncomfortably comfortable together.

They worked in silence, unpacking the boxes and setting up the room. Every once and a while, Sasuke would catch Saizo staring at him with a strange look in his eyes, but he never said anything; not a single word. Sasuke was dying to know what the Divina was thinking, but he didn't dare ask for fear of where the conversation might lead. A lot had changed in the past few months. Sasuke wasn't the same person anymore, and, clearly, neither was Saizo. Had the Divina's feelings changed? Had his confession of love been real back then, and if so, did it still hold true now?

Sasuke groaned mentally. The whole reason things hadn't worked out with Goemon was because Sasuke couldn't forget about Saizo. No matter how hard he tried to bury his love, and no matter how understanding and supportive Goemon had been, it just wasn't enough. You can't help who you love, and Sasuke loved Saizo. Simple as that.

Saizo was only a few feet away, breaking down the boxes that they'd already unpacked. Sasuke stood with his back to the Divina, pretending to straighten his clothes in one of the dresser drawers. In truth, Sasuke was trying to find the courage to turn around and ask the question that was burning in back of his mind…

_"Do you still love me?"_

Before Sasuke could make up his mind, he felt a presence at his back. He could feel the heat of Saizo's body against his; the familiar scent of the Divina's after shave wrapping around him and filling his senses to the brim. The sudden and unexpected closeness sent Sasuke's heart into a tailspin of spurting stops and starts, and though he wanted to turn around, his fear held him frozen in place.

"Nothing's changed." Saizo whispered.

"Don't be ridiculous." Sasuke replied, his voice trembling uncontrollably. "Everything has changed."

"Not this." Saizo's hand lifted the bottom of Sasuke's shirt; his fingertips gently brushing the tender flesh of his lower back. "Not my love for you."

Sasuke's hands gripped the edge of the dresser, his knees threatening to buckle any moment.

"You don't have to say anything." Saizo continued. "I'm not looking for a response. Not yet. I just want you to know that I meant what I said that night. I love you, and nothing in this world will ever change that. What I feel for you is _real_ and _true_, and now that you've come back to me, I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you." Saizo's lips brushed the skin of Sasuke's neck; the whispered kiss a promise of the passion to come. "I've learned patience in our time apart," he continued, wrapping his arm around Sasuke's waist and pulling him close. "And since we've only just reunited, I'm content to wait until you've had time to adjust."

Sasuke could feel Saizo's hard length pressing into the small of his back, and in that moment, he completely lost the ability to stand. If it hadn't been for Saizo's arm wrapped around him, and the dresser he was clinging to for support, Sasuke would've had crumpled to the floor.

"But know this," Saizo said, shifting his hips so that there was no question of his arousal. "I will shower you with my love until you drown in it, and even then, I will not stop. I am and yours and you are mine. Until you realize that, I will never give up. The chase begins now."

Then, just as suddenly as it had come, Saizo's heat was gone... Sasuke gasped for air, realizing then that he'd been holding his breath. He turned around slowly, watching Saizo as he walked over to the boxes and finished breaking down the last two. The Divina appeared calm and unconcerned, as if the last few minutes had never happened. Though relieved by the thought that Saizo still loved him, Sasuke wasn't sure whether he should be happy or terrified.

"I'll let you get cleaned up." Saizo said, picking up the boxes and carrying them to the door. "You're probably hungry, so when you're done, come down stairs and I'll make you something to eat. Sound good?"

"U-uh, y-yeah." Sasuke stuttered, still clutching the dresser.

"Good." Saizo replied with a slow smile. "I'll be waiting for you."

~END

**NOTE FROM THE WRITER:** I know the ending of this was a bit anti-climactic, but I felt like it needed to end with a promise of something more to come. These two lovers went through so much pain and heartbreak together, and although it's obvious that they love one another, I feel like Saizo needs to put in some work if he's going to convince his Uke that he truly loves him unconditionally.

So what does this all mean? I'm not sure at the moment, but I'm almost positive we'll be seeing these two again very soon!

As always, thanks for reading! Come back and visit me soon!

3 Aka


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